It's early January and although I am still dating Heather I already know it isn't going anywhere. There was nothing wrong with her. She just wasn't for me. I think in an effort to rekindle our flagging relationship she offered to cook me dinner for my birthday on the 5th. I accepted more out of obligation than excitement but as we sat down to eat in my apartment it was nice but not special. Then in the middle of dinner the phone rang and guess who. Robin was calling to wish me a happy birthday. I didn't let Heather know who it was and obviously couldn't talk right then but I realized something very important, I wanted to. That sealed it for me. Here I was, having a birthday dinner with my girlfriend, and all I wanted was to talk to Robin. I made arrangements to talk to Robin later that night and ended the dinner with Heather as quickly as I could. A few days later I had the talk with Heather that it was over and if anything, she was relieved. She wasn't feeling it any more either.
Robin and I talked the night of my birthday for what seemed like hours. Even though I knew it was over with Heather I held out no hope that things would work out with Robin. It had taken me a long time, but I was over her and didn't want to open myself up to that kind of heartache again. I did value our friendship though and wanted that to continue. I dated a little in the few weeks after Heather but nothing serious. I took one girl to an incredible movie during that time. It was called "A River Runs Through It," by Robert Redford. It was a movie about two brothers and their father who lived in Montana. They went fly fishing together and the film followed the brothers as they grew. Their father instilled in the brothers a reverence for fishing and their time together. It became for them a metaphor for life. The ending was very powerful and for some reason I found myself in tears as the credits began to roll. I looked over to my date to talk about how amazing the movie was and she was asleep. Needless to say, I wasn't impressed.
So a few weeks after my break up Robin called and wanted to go out and spend some time together. There something different in her call this time. Somehow I knew that. I don't recall what we did that first time but after a date or two I took her to see that movie. I wasn't testing her. In fact I was scared to death of becoming anything more than friends again. I didn't want to go through what I had the last summer and fall. I could tell during the movie that she got it. She certainly wasn't asleep. In fact, somewhere in the middle she leaned her head against my arm. It seems like such a small thing in retrospect, but in reality it was everything. I knew what it meant, for me, for her, for us. She wanted us to be us again. It was everything I had spent nearly a year hoping for, and yet dreaded as well. Could I trust her this time? I wasn't that puppy dog any more. I didn't need her in my life to be happy.
I spent what seemed like forever looking down at her hand, which was on the arm rest between us. I knew if I just put my hand on hers that we would be a couple again, although to what end I had no idea. I didn't expect an eternal commitment from her. I just wanted to know that this time she would be all in. In the end I had to ask myself what I really wanted. I had to trust her. The feelings had never left me. I never stopped caring for her. So I put my hand on hers and she looked up and gave me a little smile. That was all I needed. I knew I'd done the right thing.
After the movie we held hands and I dropped her off at her apartment and practically floated back to my car. I was happy like I'd never been before. The next month was a whirlwind. There was a night when she couldn't see me as she had to study so I grabbed a pint of ice cream and stopped over at her place. Everybody needs a break, right?
That night we sat on the couch and she made me kiss her. Just kidding, I had every intention of kissing her when I bought the ice cream. I knew the girls in her apartment had a pact that when they kissed a guy for the first time they owed everybody ice cream. So let's just say, I left the ice cream for her and her roommates.
As the days wore on we were getting closer and closer. This time I noticed a change in Robin. She wasn't holding back any more. She was letting it go wherever it went. We had a pretty fun date along the way where I took her up to the mouth of the canyon and we started a little fire and made tinfoil dinners. Whenever we have them I always think about that night and that date. We felt like a little couple as we made the food together. We felt like family. The first time we dated that would have scared her, but this time she didn't let it.
Another experience we had was at a fireside with President Howard W. Hunter who at the time was the President of the Quorum of the Twelve. As we sat waiting for it to begin I noticed a man in a white suit with a pony tail holding a briefcase. I commented to Robin that his look was rather odd among all the students at BYU. As President Hunter stood to speak the man rushed the stage and told everyone he had a bomb. He then placed a paper in front of President Hunter which he told him to read. We found out later that the paper had a statement calling him the new prophet of the church and that people should follow him. We found out later the man's name was Cody Judy. The man kept threatening President Hunter, but he kept shaking his head, telling the man he wouldn't read it. As the terrible scene developed someone starting singing "We Thank Thee Oh God For a Prophet" and everyone joined in. It was one of the most amazing renditions of that song I've ever heard.
Eventually a girl approached the stage and sprayed the man with pepper spray as some young men snuck behind the stage and eventually tackled him. As they took him down President Hunter's bodyguards slammed him to the ground and covered him, thinking a bomb was about to go off. When it all went down Robin grabbed me and cried in my shoulder. All I could think about was her safety. We found out later he had nothing in his briefcase, there was no bomb, and the guy was checked into a mental hospital. Afterward President Hunter got up and still gave his talk. The first line was "Sometimes in life we have challenges." Everyone laughed at the irony.
After the talk we went over to Shawna and Eric's, who were now married, to tell them what had happened. We watched a movie for a while with them but they decided to go to bed and left us there on their couch to finish the movie. It had been quite the emotional rollercoaster that night. We just held each other and didn't pay too much attention to the movie. I just sat there with her thankful that she was mine. I remember just kissing her lightly on the cheeks over and over again. Then she said something that floored me. She said that when she pictured the rest of her life, she just couldn't imagine me not being in it. I couldn't hide my surprise. It was the first time she had ever talked about us like that. It was a game changer for us. I realized once and for all that she cared for me as much as I cared for her.
After that night I decided I wanted to something really special for her. It was a week before Valentines Day so I decided I would doing something special each day of the week leading up to Valentine's Day. One day I brought her a rose, on another I wrote her a poem. I know there were chocolates involved, I bought her a little white teddy bear as well. I also did a tape (yes tape) of love songs that reminded me of her. I know I have forgotten a few but you get the idea. For Valentine's day I decided I would take her three places so I went to each ahead of time and gave the manager a rose that they would pull out and give to Robin when we arrived later. I thought I was taking her to a really nice Japanese Restaurant but I should have scouted it better. The food and atmosphere were awful. Robin took it in stride though. We ended up at the Baskin Robbins where I gave her the final rose. She was pretty impressed I think. It was a fun evening.
As time passed we saw each other every chance we got. I don't think Robin got very good grades that semester. We continued to talk seriously and even began discussing marriage. We both agreed that we would take it slow and things continued to progress as they were, we would get engaged the next fall. I didn't tell Robin but I planned a trip to the Salt Lake City Temple with my roommate. I needed to pray about Robin and our relationship and get the Lord's endorsement. I fasted all that day and planned on praying in the celestial room after the session was over. In the Terrestrial room as they were inviting patrons to participate in the prayer I felt prompted to go. Usually I didn't. So I listened to the promptings and went up. During the prayer the officiator said, "and if anyone is here in the temple this night seeking a special answer to prayer, please grant it unto them." At that moment I knew that the Lord was answering my question. I had a feeling of such overwhelming power course through me. There was no doubt as to my answer. The Lord approved, and apparently wholeheartedly.
Even though I had my answer I was fine with our timetable. Robin and I knew how we felt about each other. There was no rush. The Lord had other plans. I should mention that this was a very spiritual time in my life. I felt really close to the Lord and enjoyed the scriptures and prayer like I hadn't since my mission. Robin had warned me well ahead of time that she had a week coming up that we wouldn't be able to spend any time together. She had mid-terms and a couple huge papers she had to write and it all would happen the last week of March. I was fine with that.
On Friday night I was kneeling in prayer at my bed and finished and was about to hop into bed when the spirit said in a loud voice, "You have spoken, now listen." I knelt back down somewhat sheepishly. Then the spirit said, "The next time you see Robin, you need to ask her to marry you." I'm not one to argue with God, but I have to admit, I did. I had a long list of reasons why I couldn't do what I had been commanded. We were supposed to wait until the fall. The coming week was her horrible week where I wouldn't even see her. I didn't have a way to buy a ring. The list was longer but you get the point. The spirit would have none of it. "Ask her anyway." Was basically the answer to every protest. Long after the spirit stopped speaking to me I knelt there in the dark trying to wrap my mind around what I had been told. I played out every possible scenario in my head, including one where Robin slapped me and ran away crying. In the end it came down to a question of faith. Did I believe that God answers prayers or not? Did I believe that the Holy Ghost could tell me the will of God or not?
I decided that no matter what happened, I would do as I was commanded. The next day I sold my mountain bike to a friend and bought a diamond ring. I called Robin's Mom and Dad and asked permission to propose. Her parents surprised her by showing up in town and wanting to take everyone, including me out to dinner. I knew then that this would be the night. I had the ring in my pocket as we ate dinner at a very nice Japanese restaurant. I had planned on taking her up the canyon to Sundance mountain where there was this little bridge. I had a basket for apples and would ask her on the bridge like her favorite character Anne of Green Gables had been proposed to. The problem was, the dinner ran late and it became dark. I had no back up plan, but I was going to obey the command even if my proposal was the least romantic in history.
I parked in her driveway and we talked for a while and I told her that I knew that we had decided to wait and that it was the worst possible time to ask her and that I didn't even expect an answer, but that I wanted her to be my wife. I showed her the ring to show her that I was seriously asking her to marry me. Tears filled her eyes, she didn't slap me or run away from the car screaming, so I took that as a good sign. She did need more time and I was fine with that. But at least I had done it. I figured even if she said no that there had to be a reason the Lord had wanted me to do it then so I just had faith that it would work out all right.
We parted ways and Robin tried to concentrate on her studies while she prayed and tried to decide what to say. We saw each other a few times briefly that week when she needed a break, but not too much. Finally when the week was over and Robin's studies were done it was time to make a decision. I had left the ring at home every time I saw her but on Sunday we planned on going to a fireside with Elder Jensen of the seventy and for some reason I brought it with me. It had been a long week for both of us and I have to admit the waiting was starting to get to me.
Up until that point we had never heard a talk on marriage in all the firesides we had attended until then. Robin was in the choir through her ward so we weren't sitting together and that was probably a good thing. Elder Jensen talked about what we should be looking for in a spouse, what we should feel when picking our eternal companion. I was comparing his list with Robin and I knew that she checked every box. Little did I know that she was sitting across the Marriott Center doing the same thing.
After the talk was over we met on the floor of the Marriott Center and talked a little with some friends who were with us but she had this smile on her face. She looked so happy. I didn't really think about it until later when it all made sense.
I drove her home and again we talked for a while in her driveway. We talked about the devotional and about the crazy week and then she told me that she had prayed and cried and pondered what she should do. It had been a very miserable week for her trying to make this decision while also dealing with everything at school. Finally she smiled and said "We are going to be so happy together."
It took a minute to register. I think my brain couldn't accept what it had just heard so I said, "Are you saying what I think you are saying?"
She said, "Are you going to make me say it?"
"I think after a week I deserve to hear it," I replied.
So she said. "Yes, I'll marry you."
I wish I could describe feelings that I felt 22 years ago. I don't remember anything specific. I just know it was the happiest day of my life. We got out of the car and under a little apple tree in her yard I knelt down and put the ring on her hand.
We were married three and a half months later and thus began the journey that has resulted in 9 beautiful children and an eternity to come. After all these years that day is still one of the best of my life. I have new days to put beside it now, our wedding and the births of each of our children, but it all started with that night under the apple tree.
No comments:
Post a Comment