I decided to break this into two parts because I expect it to be quite lengthy.
I have already detailed how Robin and I met in another post so I thought I would pick up from there and share some memories of what happened after.
Our first date was to a BYU football game and the best I can say for it was I am lucky we had a second date. During the game we watched and cheered and I yelled at the referees which probably should have scared her off, (and nearly did.) As we were leaving she was thinking that it was probably over and I was thinking that I would like to take her out on a real date so I asked her out.
On my end I was intrigued by our conversations. I found that I could talk to her about any subject and she had something to add. We never had those uncomfortable moments of silence that I had with some girls. She laughed at my jokes, she wasn't afraid of spiritual topics. I could tell that the gospel meant a lot to her. The only problem as I saw it was she was so young. She had just arrived in Provo straight out of high school. She certainly wasn't ready for a serious relationship. I was several months off my mission and to put it frankly, I was ready. She knew that too and that sometimes caused problems. The first time we dated I felt like Robin made sure to keep me at arms length. We had fun, we certainly got closer, but I always felt like she was a little caged rabbit, just waiting for me to open the door so she could escape.
Our next date after the football game we went on campus to see a concert. This was a much better setting to talk and get to know each other better and remind ourselves of the night we met. As we walked out of the concert hall I grabbed her hand, which was the first physical contact between us. It seemed like a natural fit to me, I would imagine it scared her half to death.
We dated quite regularly after that but just held hands here and there and certainly had no commitment at that point. It was at the end of the 6th date that we finally kissed. We were sitting on her couch talking and I realized that a kiss was in the air, so I took off my glasses and leaned in. She told me later it was a little too long for her but to me it was very nice.
We dated so much that it all ran together but a few dates I remember.
- I took her to see Beauty and the Beast. We both loved it and for the first time I could tell that she was developing feelings for me. She didn't even seem to be scared. It was probably our first magical night together. I think this is the date we had before our first kiss. I'm sure Robin remembers.
- Preference. Robin asked me to preference and we went with Shawna and Eric who were also dating at that time. We felt like a couple that night for the first time.
- The Laser show I took her to see the Pink Floyd laser show in Salt Lake City. This was really just a cool show more than anything I remember specifically about us that night.
- The Christmas Tree exhibit. We went up to Salt Lake City and saw an exhibit of Christmas trees from around the world. This was either our first date or one of our first dates and Robin was scared to go all the way to Salt Lake City alone with me. (I didn't mind) So we doubled with Steve and Cindy Bartell and had fun. I think this date she felt a lot more comfortable with me after.
- I don't remember a specific date when we did this but on many of our dates we would turn off the radio and sing EFY and other church songs together. From my end it felt magical and right. She told me later that those dates should have scared her the most because it felt so comfortable that it was like we were family but for some reason that didn't scare her.
I know if I give it some thought I could remember more of our dates from the first time but I think that is a good list. If Robin writes her side of this story maybe she will think of more. We grew quite close the first time we dated. A lot closer than Robin ever planned and eventually, more than she was comfortable with. I wasn't really shocked when we drove to the Provo temple to talk and she broke up with me. We had taken the relationship as far as it could go at that time. Probably too far. It didn't make the heartache any less for me, but I knew it was coming so at least that helped a little. I was very much in love but didn't think she felt the same way for me. She was so young, it was too much to ask. But that didn't make it hurt any less.
I dropped her off and parked back in my apartment lot and just sat there with tears streaming down my cheeks. I looked over at where she had been sitting and noticed loose strands of her blonde hair on my car seat. I began picking them off one by one, knowing how much heartache seeing them would bring me in the days to come. I knew she wouldn't be leaving any more again.
The day was March 28th. I had planned to stay and work in Provo that summer but as I drove around town the next few days I kept seeing reminders of Robin. Every restaurant and park seemed to have a memory. I was scared to death I would see her in some other guy's car, laughing and having a good time. I'm so glad I didn't, it would have destroyed me. I decided after a few days that I was going home to Wisconsin. I needed time to heal, to get over her away from all the memories.
I had apparently left some things at Robin's apartment so a few days before I left she asked me to come get them. When I arrived I found that what I left wasn't really all that important. She had used it as an excuse to see me again. She wanted to get my contact information to stay in touch while she went home over the summer. I was fine with that but I didn't expect anything. I felt like she wanted to get rid of me and she had so I needed to get over her. I gave her a hug and told her I had changed my plans and would be going home over the summer. I didn't realize then that that news really affected her. She realized just how much our break-up had affected me. We exchanged phone numbers and addresses and as far as I was concerned as I drove away, that was the end of our relationship.
No comments:
Post a Comment