This is something I wrote some time ago. I'm not really sure when I wrote it or what was going on in my life but as we sort through old drawers we found it. I'm glad your mom saved it. So let me know what you think.
My name is of no consequence. My age is irrelevant. Those who are like me know me. Those who are not wonder about me. I have set out on a journey with no idea how to find the road or which road or even if there is a road. I have learned things along the way and believe I have a map but it is nearly impossible to follow.
I have an enemy on this journey. He visits along the way. He puts markers on the road that cause me long delays and make me lose my way. He puts fog in the air so I can't read my map. Sometimes when he is no where in sight I cast down my map and try to walk without it. Then I wonder around at the crossroads wondering which way to go. No map, no one to instruct me. I never feel more alone on my journey than during these times. I stumble around until I find it again. I tell myself never to let go of it again but I know I will. I just hope that I am farther down the road than when I let go of it. Sometimes I know that I am. I have a real problem staying on the road because I walk head down. I rarely look far enough ahead to make sure I am walking the straight line, so I end up getting lost far too often.
My enemy is back, he senses I am making some progress. This infuriates him. He disguises himself and pretends to show me a short-cut. What a fool I am. Of course I follow. I have such a hard time saying no to him. A wind comes from no where and his disguise is lifted. My enemy looks at me with that knowing smile. Like he just knows he will always win. I leave him and make back for the direction I thought the road lay but with little confidence I will find it again. I vow to watch more closely for the enemy next time, but I don't really believe. The enemy always appears so friendly, but I see in his eyes he wants to destroy me. I finally remember my map, it somehow is always able to tell me exactly where I am and to get on the right road again.
I walk further and I realize I have no idea how long the journey will be. It seems so long already, but I know it is just a small blip in the time line of eternity. I know I can't fail here or the light in the distance will never be reached. Why is it that it seems like the only people on the road with me are so far ahead? Everyone seems to be having an easier time than me. My road is the rockiest, the steepest, the most hazardous. I rest sometimes thinking I have earned it. I sit down square in the middle of the road and rest. When I get back up the road is gone. I am lost again. How did that happen? This can be such a confusing place. I somehow make my way back yet again but my energy is expended. I am so tired. I can't rest, I can't find an inn along the way.
My journey continues demanding my strength, my concentration, my sacrifice, my everything. It is hard to keep focused on the light ahead. Sometimes that light even seems a little closer but that isn't enough to motivate me. I slump over. Up ahead I see people continuing on. Somewhere on another road I hear my enemy laughing. He has won. I always thought he would. Suddenly I hear him shriek. I see a movement on the road ahead but I am too weary to look.
A light fills all around. I look up and see the face of he that comes. The look on that face. I know I will never forget it. A look of such complete love and tenderness. He reaches for me and touches me. My strength returns. He gently lifts me to my feet and wraps his arms around me.
"Well done," he whispers.
I do not understand. Then he explains. "For some, the road is easier and filled with less pitfalls. Each individual has his own length of road to walk." He pauses and fixes my eyes with a piercing stare, "When you can walk no more the light will come to you. It matters not how long your road is but that you never stop trying."
He takes my hand and leads me forward as the light surrounds us. For the first time in forever I feel peace, I feel love. Somewhere I hear my enemy. He is weeping. I am crying as well but these are tears of joy. Every struggle, every moment of despair, I remember now why I started this journey. It was because I knew this would be worth it and as I look in my Savior's eyes the light brightens and I know, my smile will last an eternity
Tuesday, June 30, 2015
Wednesday, June 24, 2015
Our Courtship part 3
It's early January and although I am still dating Heather I already know it isn't going anywhere. There was nothing wrong with her. She just wasn't for me. I think in an effort to rekindle our flagging relationship she offered to cook me dinner for my birthday on the 5th. I accepted more out of obligation than excitement but as we sat down to eat in my apartment it was nice but not special. Then in the middle of dinner the phone rang and guess who. Robin was calling to wish me a happy birthday. I didn't let Heather know who it was and obviously couldn't talk right then but I realized something very important, I wanted to. That sealed it for me. Here I was, having a birthday dinner with my girlfriend, and all I wanted was to talk to Robin. I made arrangements to talk to Robin later that night and ended the dinner with Heather as quickly as I could. A few days later I had the talk with Heather that it was over and if anything, she was relieved. She wasn't feeling it any more either.
Robin and I talked the night of my birthday for what seemed like hours. Even though I knew it was over with Heather I held out no hope that things would work out with Robin. It had taken me a long time, but I was over her and didn't want to open myself up to that kind of heartache again. I did value our friendship though and wanted that to continue. I dated a little in the few weeks after Heather but nothing serious. I took one girl to an incredible movie during that time. It was called "A River Runs Through It," by Robert Redford. It was a movie about two brothers and their father who lived in Montana. They went fly fishing together and the film followed the brothers as they grew. Their father instilled in the brothers a reverence for fishing and their time together. It became for them a metaphor for life. The ending was very powerful and for some reason I found myself in tears as the credits began to roll. I looked over to my date to talk about how amazing the movie was and she was asleep. Needless to say, I wasn't impressed.
So a few weeks after my break up Robin called and wanted to go out and spend some time together. There something different in her call this time. Somehow I knew that. I don't recall what we did that first time but after a date or two I took her to see that movie. I wasn't testing her. In fact I was scared to death of becoming anything more than friends again. I didn't want to go through what I had the last summer and fall. I could tell during the movie that she got it. She certainly wasn't asleep. In fact, somewhere in the middle she leaned her head against my arm. It seems like such a small thing in retrospect, but in reality it was everything. I knew what it meant, for me, for her, for us. She wanted us to be us again. It was everything I had spent nearly a year hoping for, and yet dreaded as well. Could I trust her this time? I wasn't that puppy dog any more. I didn't need her in my life to be happy.
I spent what seemed like forever looking down at her hand, which was on the arm rest between us. I knew if I just put my hand on hers that we would be a couple again, although to what end I had no idea. I didn't expect an eternal commitment from her. I just wanted to know that this time she would be all in. In the end I had to ask myself what I really wanted. I had to trust her. The feelings had never left me. I never stopped caring for her. So I put my hand on hers and she looked up and gave me a little smile. That was all I needed. I knew I'd done the right thing.
After the movie we held hands and I dropped her off at her apartment and practically floated back to my car. I was happy like I'd never been before. The next month was a whirlwind. There was a night when she couldn't see me as she had to study so I grabbed a pint of ice cream and stopped over at her place. Everybody needs a break, right?
That night we sat on the couch and she made me kiss her. Just kidding, I had every intention of kissing her when I bought the ice cream. I knew the girls in her apartment had a pact that when they kissed a guy for the first time they owed everybody ice cream. So let's just say, I left the ice cream for her and her roommates.
As the days wore on we were getting closer and closer. This time I noticed a change in Robin. She wasn't holding back any more. She was letting it go wherever it went. We had a pretty fun date along the way where I took her up to the mouth of the canyon and we started a little fire and made tinfoil dinners. Whenever we have them I always think about that night and that date. We felt like a little couple as we made the food together. We felt like family. The first time we dated that would have scared her, but this time she didn't let it.
Another experience we had was at a fireside with President Howard W. Hunter who at the time was the President of the Quorum of the Twelve. As we sat waiting for it to begin I noticed a man in a white suit with a pony tail holding a briefcase. I commented to Robin that his look was rather odd among all the students at BYU. As President Hunter stood to speak the man rushed the stage and told everyone he had a bomb. He then placed a paper in front of President Hunter which he told him to read. We found out later that the paper had a statement calling him the new prophet of the church and that people should follow him. We found out later the man's name was Cody Judy. The man kept threatening President Hunter, but he kept shaking his head, telling the man he wouldn't read it. As the terrible scene developed someone starting singing "We Thank Thee Oh God For a Prophet" and everyone joined in. It was one of the most amazing renditions of that song I've ever heard.
Eventually a girl approached the stage and sprayed the man with pepper spray as some young men snuck behind the stage and eventually tackled him. As they took him down President Hunter's bodyguards slammed him to the ground and covered him, thinking a bomb was about to go off. When it all went down Robin grabbed me and cried in my shoulder. All I could think about was her safety. We found out later he had nothing in his briefcase, there was no bomb, and the guy was checked into a mental hospital. Afterward President Hunter got up and still gave his talk. The first line was "Sometimes in life we have challenges." Everyone laughed at the irony.
After the talk we went over to Shawna and Eric's, who were now married, to tell them what had happened. We watched a movie for a while with them but they decided to go to bed and left us there on their couch to finish the movie. It had been quite the emotional rollercoaster that night. We just held each other and didn't pay too much attention to the movie. I just sat there with her thankful that she was mine. I remember just kissing her lightly on the cheeks over and over again. Then she said something that floored me. She said that when she pictured the rest of her life, she just couldn't imagine me not being in it. I couldn't hide my surprise. It was the first time she had ever talked about us like that. It was a game changer for us. I realized once and for all that she cared for me as much as I cared for her.
After that night I decided I wanted to something really special for her. It was a week before Valentines Day so I decided I would doing something special each day of the week leading up to Valentine's Day. One day I brought her a rose, on another I wrote her a poem. I know there were chocolates involved, I bought her a little white teddy bear as well. I also did a tape (yes tape) of love songs that reminded me of her. I know I have forgotten a few but you get the idea. For Valentine's day I decided I would take her three places so I went to each ahead of time and gave the manager a rose that they would pull out and give to Robin when we arrived later. I thought I was taking her to a really nice Japanese Restaurant but I should have scouted it better. The food and atmosphere were awful. Robin took it in stride though. We ended up at the Baskin Robbins where I gave her the final rose. She was pretty impressed I think. It was a fun evening.
As time passed we saw each other every chance we got. I don't think Robin got very good grades that semester. We continued to talk seriously and even began discussing marriage. We both agreed that we would take it slow and things continued to progress as they were, we would get engaged the next fall. I didn't tell Robin but I planned a trip to the Salt Lake City Temple with my roommate. I needed to pray about Robin and our relationship and get the Lord's endorsement. I fasted all that day and planned on praying in the celestial room after the session was over. In the Terrestrial room as they were inviting patrons to participate in the prayer I felt prompted to go. Usually I didn't. So I listened to the promptings and went up. During the prayer the officiator said, "and if anyone is here in the temple this night seeking a special answer to prayer, please grant it unto them." At that moment I knew that the Lord was answering my question. I had a feeling of such overwhelming power course through me. There was no doubt as to my answer. The Lord approved, and apparently wholeheartedly.
Even though I had my answer I was fine with our timetable. Robin and I knew how we felt about each other. There was no rush. The Lord had other plans. I should mention that this was a very spiritual time in my life. I felt really close to the Lord and enjoyed the scriptures and prayer like I hadn't since my mission. Robin had warned me well ahead of time that she had a week coming up that we wouldn't be able to spend any time together. She had mid-terms and a couple huge papers she had to write and it all would happen the last week of March. I was fine with that.
On Friday night I was kneeling in prayer at my bed and finished and was about to hop into bed when the spirit said in a loud voice, "You have spoken, now listen." I knelt back down somewhat sheepishly. Then the spirit said, "The next time you see Robin, you need to ask her to marry you." I'm not one to argue with God, but I have to admit, I did. I had a long list of reasons why I couldn't do what I had been commanded. We were supposed to wait until the fall. The coming week was her horrible week where I wouldn't even see her. I didn't have a way to buy a ring. The list was longer but you get the point. The spirit would have none of it. "Ask her anyway." Was basically the answer to every protest. Long after the spirit stopped speaking to me I knelt there in the dark trying to wrap my mind around what I had been told. I played out every possible scenario in my head, including one where Robin slapped me and ran away crying. In the end it came down to a question of faith. Did I believe that God answers prayers or not? Did I believe that the Holy Ghost could tell me the will of God or not?
I decided that no matter what happened, I would do as I was commanded. The next day I sold my mountain bike to a friend and bought a diamond ring. I called Robin's Mom and Dad and asked permission to propose. Her parents surprised her by showing up in town and wanting to take everyone, including me out to dinner. I knew then that this would be the night. I had the ring in my pocket as we ate dinner at a very nice Japanese restaurant. I had planned on taking her up the canyon to Sundance mountain where there was this little bridge. I had a basket for apples and would ask her on the bridge like her favorite character Anne of Green Gables had been proposed to. The problem was, the dinner ran late and it became dark. I had no back up plan, but I was going to obey the command even if my proposal was the least romantic in history.
I parked in her driveway and we talked for a while and I told her that I knew that we had decided to wait and that it was the worst possible time to ask her and that I didn't even expect an answer, but that I wanted her to be my wife. I showed her the ring to show her that I was seriously asking her to marry me. Tears filled her eyes, she didn't slap me or run away from the car screaming, so I took that as a good sign. She did need more time and I was fine with that. But at least I had done it. I figured even if she said no that there had to be a reason the Lord had wanted me to do it then so I just had faith that it would work out all right.
We parted ways and Robin tried to concentrate on her studies while she prayed and tried to decide what to say. We saw each other a few times briefly that week when she needed a break, but not too much. Finally when the week was over and Robin's studies were done it was time to make a decision. I had left the ring at home every time I saw her but on Sunday we planned on going to a fireside with Elder Jensen of the seventy and for some reason I brought it with me. It had been a long week for both of us and I have to admit the waiting was starting to get to me.
Up until that point we had never heard a talk on marriage in all the firesides we had attended until then. Robin was in the choir through her ward so we weren't sitting together and that was probably a good thing. Elder Jensen talked about what we should be looking for in a spouse, what we should feel when picking our eternal companion. I was comparing his list with Robin and I knew that she checked every box. Little did I know that she was sitting across the Marriott Center doing the same thing.
After the talk was over we met on the floor of the Marriott Center and talked a little with some friends who were with us but she had this smile on her face. She looked so happy. I didn't really think about it until later when it all made sense.
I drove her home and again we talked for a while in her driveway. We talked about the devotional and about the crazy week and then she told me that she had prayed and cried and pondered what she should do. It had been a very miserable week for her trying to make this decision while also dealing with everything at school. Finally she smiled and said "We are going to be so happy together."
It took a minute to register. I think my brain couldn't accept what it had just heard so I said, "Are you saying what I think you are saying?"
She said, "Are you going to make me say it?"
"I think after a week I deserve to hear it," I replied.
So she said. "Yes, I'll marry you."
I wish I could describe feelings that I felt 22 years ago. I don't remember anything specific. I just know it was the happiest day of my life. We got out of the car and under a little apple tree in her yard I knelt down and put the ring on her hand.
We were married three and a half months later and thus began the journey that has resulted in 9 beautiful children and an eternity to come. After all these years that day is still one of the best of my life. I have new days to put beside it now, our wedding and the births of each of our children, but it all started with that night under the apple tree.
Robin and I talked the night of my birthday for what seemed like hours. Even though I knew it was over with Heather I held out no hope that things would work out with Robin. It had taken me a long time, but I was over her and didn't want to open myself up to that kind of heartache again. I did value our friendship though and wanted that to continue. I dated a little in the few weeks after Heather but nothing serious. I took one girl to an incredible movie during that time. It was called "A River Runs Through It," by Robert Redford. It was a movie about two brothers and their father who lived in Montana. They went fly fishing together and the film followed the brothers as they grew. Their father instilled in the brothers a reverence for fishing and their time together. It became for them a metaphor for life. The ending was very powerful and for some reason I found myself in tears as the credits began to roll. I looked over to my date to talk about how amazing the movie was and she was asleep. Needless to say, I wasn't impressed.
So a few weeks after my break up Robin called and wanted to go out and spend some time together. There something different in her call this time. Somehow I knew that. I don't recall what we did that first time but after a date or two I took her to see that movie. I wasn't testing her. In fact I was scared to death of becoming anything more than friends again. I didn't want to go through what I had the last summer and fall. I could tell during the movie that she got it. She certainly wasn't asleep. In fact, somewhere in the middle she leaned her head against my arm. It seems like such a small thing in retrospect, but in reality it was everything. I knew what it meant, for me, for her, for us. She wanted us to be us again. It was everything I had spent nearly a year hoping for, and yet dreaded as well. Could I trust her this time? I wasn't that puppy dog any more. I didn't need her in my life to be happy.
I spent what seemed like forever looking down at her hand, which was on the arm rest between us. I knew if I just put my hand on hers that we would be a couple again, although to what end I had no idea. I didn't expect an eternal commitment from her. I just wanted to know that this time she would be all in. In the end I had to ask myself what I really wanted. I had to trust her. The feelings had never left me. I never stopped caring for her. So I put my hand on hers and she looked up and gave me a little smile. That was all I needed. I knew I'd done the right thing.
After the movie we held hands and I dropped her off at her apartment and practically floated back to my car. I was happy like I'd never been before. The next month was a whirlwind. There was a night when she couldn't see me as she had to study so I grabbed a pint of ice cream and stopped over at her place. Everybody needs a break, right?
That night we sat on the couch and she made me kiss her. Just kidding, I had every intention of kissing her when I bought the ice cream. I knew the girls in her apartment had a pact that when they kissed a guy for the first time they owed everybody ice cream. So let's just say, I left the ice cream for her and her roommates.
As the days wore on we were getting closer and closer. This time I noticed a change in Robin. She wasn't holding back any more. She was letting it go wherever it went. We had a pretty fun date along the way where I took her up to the mouth of the canyon and we started a little fire and made tinfoil dinners. Whenever we have them I always think about that night and that date. We felt like a little couple as we made the food together. We felt like family. The first time we dated that would have scared her, but this time she didn't let it.
Another experience we had was at a fireside with President Howard W. Hunter who at the time was the President of the Quorum of the Twelve. As we sat waiting for it to begin I noticed a man in a white suit with a pony tail holding a briefcase. I commented to Robin that his look was rather odd among all the students at BYU. As President Hunter stood to speak the man rushed the stage and told everyone he had a bomb. He then placed a paper in front of President Hunter which he told him to read. We found out later that the paper had a statement calling him the new prophet of the church and that people should follow him. We found out later the man's name was Cody Judy. The man kept threatening President Hunter, but he kept shaking his head, telling the man he wouldn't read it. As the terrible scene developed someone starting singing "We Thank Thee Oh God For a Prophet" and everyone joined in. It was one of the most amazing renditions of that song I've ever heard.
Eventually a girl approached the stage and sprayed the man with pepper spray as some young men snuck behind the stage and eventually tackled him. As they took him down President Hunter's bodyguards slammed him to the ground and covered him, thinking a bomb was about to go off. When it all went down Robin grabbed me and cried in my shoulder. All I could think about was her safety. We found out later he had nothing in his briefcase, there was no bomb, and the guy was checked into a mental hospital. Afterward President Hunter got up and still gave his talk. The first line was "Sometimes in life we have challenges." Everyone laughed at the irony.
After the talk we went over to Shawna and Eric's, who were now married, to tell them what had happened. We watched a movie for a while with them but they decided to go to bed and left us there on their couch to finish the movie. It had been quite the emotional rollercoaster that night. We just held each other and didn't pay too much attention to the movie. I just sat there with her thankful that she was mine. I remember just kissing her lightly on the cheeks over and over again. Then she said something that floored me. She said that when she pictured the rest of her life, she just couldn't imagine me not being in it. I couldn't hide my surprise. It was the first time she had ever talked about us like that. It was a game changer for us. I realized once and for all that she cared for me as much as I cared for her.
After that night I decided I wanted to something really special for her. It was a week before Valentines Day so I decided I would doing something special each day of the week leading up to Valentine's Day. One day I brought her a rose, on another I wrote her a poem. I know there were chocolates involved, I bought her a little white teddy bear as well. I also did a tape (yes tape) of love songs that reminded me of her. I know I have forgotten a few but you get the idea. For Valentine's day I decided I would take her three places so I went to each ahead of time and gave the manager a rose that they would pull out and give to Robin when we arrived later. I thought I was taking her to a really nice Japanese Restaurant but I should have scouted it better. The food and atmosphere were awful. Robin took it in stride though. We ended up at the Baskin Robbins where I gave her the final rose. She was pretty impressed I think. It was a fun evening.
As time passed we saw each other every chance we got. I don't think Robin got very good grades that semester. We continued to talk seriously and even began discussing marriage. We both agreed that we would take it slow and things continued to progress as they were, we would get engaged the next fall. I didn't tell Robin but I planned a trip to the Salt Lake City Temple with my roommate. I needed to pray about Robin and our relationship and get the Lord's endorsement. I fasted all that day and planned on praying in the celestial room after the session was over. In the Terrestrial room as they were inviting patrons to participate in the prayer I felt prompted to go. Usually I didn't. So I listened to the promptings and went up. During the prayer the officiator said, "and if anyone is here in the temple this night seeking a special answer to prayer, please grant it unto them." At that moment I knew that the Lord was answering my question. I had a feeling of such overwhelming power course through me. There was no doubt as to my answer. The Lord approved, and apparently wholeheartedly.
Even though I had my answer I was fine with our timetable. Robin and I knew how we felt about each other. There was no rush. The Lord had other plans. I should mention that this was a very spiritual time in my life. I felt really close to the Lord and enjoyed the scriptures and prayer like I hadn't since my mission. Robin had warned me well ahead of time that she had a week coming up that we wouldn't be able to spend any time together. She had mid-terms and a couple huge papers she had to write and it all would happen the last week of March. I was fine with that.
On Friday night I was kneeling in prayer at my bed and finished and was about to hop into bed when the spirit said in a loud voice, "You have spoken, now listen." I knelt back down somewhat sheepishly. Then the spirit said, "The next time you see Robin, you need to ask her to marry you." I'm not one to argue with God, but I have to admit, I did. I had a long list of reasons why I couldn't do what I had been commanded. We were supposed to wait until the fall. The coming week was her horrible week where I wouldn't even see her. I didn't have a way to buy a ring. The list was longer but you get the point. The spirit would have none of it. "Ask her anyway." Was basically the answer to every protest. Long after the spirit stopped speaking to me I knelt there in the dark trying to wrap my mind around what I had been told. I played out every possible scenario in my head, including one where Robin slapped me and ran away crying. In the end it came down to a question of faith. Did I believe that God answers prayers or not? Did I believe that the Holy Ghost could tell me the will of God or not?
I decided that no matter what happened, I would do as I was commanded. The next day I sold my mountain bike to a friend and bought a diamond ring. I called Robin's Mom and Dad and asked permission to propose. Her parents surprised her by showing up in town and wanting to take everyone, including me out to dinner. I knew then that this would be the night. I had the ring in my pocket as we ate dinner at a very nice Japanese restaurant. I had planned on taking her up the canyon to Sundance mountain where there was this little bridge. I had a basket for apples and would ask her on the bridge like her favorite character Anne of Green Gables had been proposed to. The problem was, the dinner ran late and it became dark. I had no back up plan, but I was going to obey the command even if my proposal was the least romantic in history.
I parked in her driveway and we talked for a while and I told her that I knew that we had decided to wait and that it was the worst possible time to ask her and that I didn't even expect an answer, but that I wanted her to be my wife. I showed her the ring to show her that I was seriously asking her to marry me. Tears filled her eyes, she didn't slap me or run away from the car screaming, so I took that as a good sign. She did need more time and I was fine with that. But at least I had done it. I figured even if she said no that there had to be a reason the Lord had wanted me to do it then so I just had faith that it would work out all right.
We parted ways and Robin tried to concentrate on her studies while she prayed and tried to decide what to say. We saw each other a few times briefly that week when she needed a break, but not too much. Finally when the week was over and Robin's studies were done it was time to make a decision. I had left the ring at home every time I saw her but on Sunday we planned on going to a fireside with Elder Jensen of the seventy and for some reason I brought it with me. It had been a long week for both of us and I have to admit the waiting was starting to get to me.
Up until that point we had never heard a talk on marriage in all the firesides we had attended until then. Robin was in the choir through her ward so we weren't sitting together and that was probably a good thing. Elder Jensen talked about what we should be looking for in a spouse, what we should feel when picking our eternal companion. I was comparing his list with Robin and I knew that she checked every box. Little did I know that she was sitting across the Marriott Center doing the same thing.
After the talk was over we met on the floor of the Marriott Center and talked a little with some friends who were with us but she had this smile on her face. She looked so happy. I didn't really think about it until later when it all made sense.
I drove her home and again we talked for a while in her driveway. We talked about the devotional and about the crazy week and then she told me that she had prayed and cried and pondered what she should do. It had been a very miserable week for her trying to make this decision while also dealing with everything at school. Finally she smiled and said "We are going to be so happy together."
It took a minute to register. I think my brain couldn't accept what it had just heard so I said, "Are you saying what I think you are saying?"
She said, "Are you going to make me say it?"
"I think after a week I deserve to hear it," I replied.
So she said. "Yes, I'll marry you."
I wish I could describe feelings that I felt 22 years ago. I don't remember anything specific. I just know it was the happiest day of my life. We got out of the car and under a little apple tree in her yard I knelt down and put the ring on her hand.
We were married three and a half months later and thus began the journey that has resulted in 9 beautiful children and an eternity to come. After all these years that day is still one of the best of my life. I have new days to put beside it now, our wedding and the births of each of our children, but it all started with that night under the apple tree.
Tuesday, June 23, 2015
Our Courtship part 2
So I am home in Wisconsin, I'm in my parents basement and working as a cashier at Stein's Gardens and Gifts as well as driving pizzas for Pizza Hut and I am miserable. I had many talks with my mother about Robin and what had happened. She could see how down I was. I am grateful I had a chance to drive pizzas. It gave me a lot of time in my car at night in the darkness with time to think. I thought about the good times I had with Robin, how I felt when I was around her. I thought about what went wrong, what I did wrong. I wish I could say that I came to some great epiphany that changed me forever but I didn't. More than anything I just needed time away from Provo and all the memories.
One night this song came on the radio. I had never heard it before but the words somehow captured exactly what I was feeling. I literally had tears rolling down my cheeks as the song ended. This is the song.
The words of that song so perfectly described what was in my head. Somehow hearing that song began the healing for me. Not that it gave me any hope for Robin and I. But when you are hurting you have this feeling of separation from the world. You feel like nobody else understands what you are going through. That loneliness is the hardest part. When I heard that song I knew that I wasn't the only one going through what I was. It gave me hope to know that someone else felt what I was feeling. Although I was still missing Robin, that night in the car with that song began my recovery.
Robin and I talked over the summer periodically and it was like we were still dating in a way. We could talk about anything and did. We talked for hours at a time. She even sent me a package with some talks and material about the last days that she thought I would find interesting. I have to admit that I looked forward to our talks even though I knew that holding out hope for us was not good for me.
I did date for the first time that summer. It was a girl at work and it didn't last long. She lived on her own and wasn't a member of the church and I knew that if I wanted to remain worthy I would have to break it off so I did. We continued to work together which made it a bit awkward, but mostly on her part. It's kind of funny the things people do after a relationship is over. Even a two week relationship.
So the summer ended and I found myself back in Provo. I still didn't want to see Robin in the car with some guy, having a good time, but I was better able to deal with it after a summer away. Robin was to arrive a few weeks after me so I watched and waited to see if she would contact me and how quickly. A week after what I thought was her arrival date went by and then a few more days. I was talking with my mom and told her that if that is all Robin thought of me then I was truly done with her. I was a little upset that she hadn't at least called to tell me she was in town. Just as I was about to write her off I got a call from Robin telling me that she just got in that day and would like to see me.
Of course that changed everything and all was forgiven. The problem at that point was that nothing had really changed between us. I was still running after her and she was still keeping me at a safe distance. She didn't respect me because I was too eager, too suffocating. I had lessons to learn and I couldn't do it while dating her. I see that now, but at the time I was just happy she called.
We had a nice visit and we continued to keep in touch. Not dating but going out once in a while to spend time together as friends. Of course I was still holding a torch for her so many of these visits were just reminders of what was and weren't really helping me move on which is what I needed to do.
A few months later we went on a date that changed everything for me. We went and played raquetball together one morning and were having our usual good time together. I once again still hoped each time we saw each other that it would spark something and get us back together. I certainly wasn't moving on. I was dating some but I compared everyone to her and no one did. We talked as we played about a Christmas work party in early December that I could invite a date to. We agreed we would go together, once again kindling a hope in me that we still had a future. Then she dropped the bomb.
She had to cut our time short because she had to go get ready for preference that night. She had asked somebody else out to the very dance she had taken me to the year before. She "preferred" somebody else. I was devastated. I didn't say much to Robin as we finished up and I took her home. I knew as I dropped her off that I really and truly needed to get over her. In fact, I needed to just get over and be done with relationships for a while. I was angry. Mad at Robin, mad at me, mad at women in general. I decided after that date that I needed to change how I looked at the whole thing. No more puppy dog coming with my tail wagging for any interesting girl who would give me the time of day. I decided I didn't care what others thought of me. If I dated then fine, if I didn't, even better. It wasn't an experiment, I had experienced a change of attitude.
I figured my new attitude would mean lots of nights alone in my apartment. The thing was, the exact opposite occurred. For the first time in my life there weren't enough days in the week for the dates I went on. I had one stretch where I dated a different girl ten days in a row. I wasn't looking for a relationship and they knew it, and that intrigued them I guess. It still doesn't make sense to me, but the proof was in the results. My new attitude had me so busy I couldn't think about Robin and feel sorry for myself any longer. Besides, she "preferred" that other guy, so it was time to put those feelings away and move on, and I did. Dating so often did something for me. It gave me the confidence I lacked. I realized that girls were interested in me, that there was nothing wrong with me.
During this time I stayed in touch with Robin but at a safe distance. We didn't have any more of our little friend dates. (I was too busy) We just chatted on the phone once in a while. I don't know if she sensed the change in me but I felt it. I was finally over her and ready to move on. Not that my feelings had disappeared, I was just ready to move on and find someone as into me as I was into them and up until that point, Robin had never made me feel that way.
At the end of my dating spree I met a strawberry blonde girl named Heather from Canada. We hit it off pretty quickly for some reason and starting seeing each other exclusively. She had a lot of personality and for a time I liked that. We went from dating to seeing each other exclusively to boyfriend and girlfriend. We even discussed marriage even though that was pretty stupid. We only knew each other one month. A little problem arose though. That Christmas work party was coming and I had asked Robin to go. To make things worse Heather worked with me so it was technically her work party too. She and I talked about what to do and I knew Heather wanted me to bow out with Robin and take her instead and really that is what a normal person would have done. But I didn't want to cancel that date. I was over Robin, I was in a good place personally and even had a new girlfriend, yet I didn't want to break that date with Robin.
Heather agreed that I should honor that invitation and that we would just spend time together after so I picked up Robin and headed to the party. When we sat down Heather and a friend of hers decided to come sit with us at our table just to really make it awkward. A good friend from my mission Kevin Marquis and his wife were also there so they were at the table too. It was very awkward. I couldn't really have a conversation with Robin because Heather was right there. I felt bad, because everyone at the table knew what was going on except Robin. I hadn't brought her to be mean to her or rub my new relationship in her face. We were there only an hour or so when I realized what a mistake I'd made and that to be fair to Robin I needed to take her home. At the first opportunity I suggested we leave, that I wasn't feeling well.
She seemed quite surprised that I was taking her home early. On the way home she even suggested that we go do something else. I declined and took her home. It was quite a change for us. Normally I was always trying to extend our time together. I think she realized that finally I was over her. I'll let her tell her side in her own words.
After I dropped her off I went back to the party and spent another few hours with Heather. I couldn't help but compare Robin and Heather. I compared how I felt when I was around them. What we talked about. It wasn't a good comparison for Heather. It was at that moment where things took a downward turn in our relationship. We kept dating for another month but that spark that had brought us together so quickly started to fade. I didn't expect to reunite with Robin. But after that night I knew I wanted somebody like her.
One night this song came on the radio. I had never heard it before but the words somehow captured exactly what I was feeling. I literally had tears rolling down my cheeks as the song ended. This is the song.
The words of that song so perfectly described what was in my head. Somehow hearing that song began the healing for me. Not that it gave me any hope for Robin and I. But when you are hurting you have this feeling of separation from the world. You feel like nobody else understands what you are going through. That loneliness is the hardest part. When I heard that song I knew that I wasn't the only one going through what I was. It gave me hope to know that someone else felt what I was feeling. Although I was still missing Robin, that night in the car with that song began my recovery.
Robin and I talked over the summer periodically and it was like we were still dating in a way. We could talk about anything and did. We talked for hours at a time. She even sent me a package with some talks and material about the last days that she thought I would find interesting. I have to admit that I looked forward to our talks even though I knew that holding out hope for us was not good for me.
I did date for the first time that summer. It was a girl at work and it didn't last long. She lived on her own and wasn't a member of the church and I knew that if I wanted to remain worthy I would have to break it off so I did. We continued to work together which made it a bit awkward, but mostly on her part. It's kind of funny the things people do after a relationship is over. Even a two week relationship.
So the summer ended and I found myself back in Provo. I still didn't want to see Robin in the car with some guy, having a good time, but I was better able to deal with it after a summer away. Robin was to arrive a few weeks after me so I watched and waited to see if she would contact me and how quickly. A week after what I thought was her arrival date went by and then a few more days. I was talking with my mom and told her that if that is all Robin thought of me then I was truly done with her. I was a little upset that she hadn't at least called to tell me she was in town. Just as I was about to write her off I got a call from Robin telling me that she just got in that day and would like to see me.
Of course that changed everything and all was forgiven. The problem at that point was that nothing had really changed between us. I was still running after her and she was still keeping me at a safe distance. She didn't respect me because I was too eager, too suffocating. I had lessons to learn and I couldn't do it while dating her. I see that now, but at the time I was just happy she called.
We had a nice visit and we continued to keep in touch. Not dating but going out once in a while to spend time together as friends. Of course I was still holding a torch for her so many of these visits were just reminders of what was and weren't really helping me move on which is what I needed to do.
A few months later we went on a date that changed everything for me. We went and played raquetball together one morning and were having our usual good time together. I once again still hoped each time we saw each other that it would spark something and get us back together. I certainly wasn't moving on. I was dating some but I compared everyone to her and no one did. We talked as we played about a Christmas work party in early December that I could invite a date to. We agreed we would go together, once again kindling a hope in me that we still had a future. Then she dropped the bomb.
She had to cut our time short because she had to go get ready for preference that night. She had asked somebody else out to the very dance she had taken me to the year before. She "preferred" somebody else. I was devastated. I didn't say much to Robin as we finished up and I took her home. I knew as I dropped her off that I really and truly needed to get over her. In fact, I needed to just get over and be done with relationships for a while. I was angry. Mad at Robin, mad at me, mad at women in general. I decided after that date that I needed to change how I looked at the whole thing. No more puppy dog coming with my tail wagging for any interesting girl who would give me the time of day. I decided I didn't care what others thought of me. If I dated then fine, if I didn't, even better. It wasn't an experiment, I had experienced a change of attitude.
I figured my new attitude would mean lots of nights alone in my apartment. The thing was, the exact opposite occurred. For the first time in my life there weren't enough days in the week for the dates I went on. I had one stretch where I dated a different girl ten days in a row. I wasn't looking for a relationship and they knew it, and that intrigued them I guess. It still doesn't make sense to me, but the proof was in the results. My new attitude had me so busy I couldn't think about Robin and feel sorry for myself any longer. Besides, she "preferred" that other guy, so it was time to put those feelings away and move on, and I did. Dating so often did something for me. It gave me the confidence I lacked. I realized that girls were interested in me, that there was nothing wrong with me.
During this time I stayed in touch with Robin but at a safe distance. We didn't have any more of our little friend dates. (I was too busy) We just chatted on the phone once in a while. I don't know if she sensed the change in me but I felt it. I was finally over her and ready to move on. Not that my feelings had disappeared, I was just ready to move on and find someone as into me as I was into them and up until that point, Robin had never made me feel that way.
At the end of my dating spree I met a strawberry blonde girl named Heather from Canada. We hit it off pretty quickly for some reason and starting seeing each other exclusively. She had a lot of personality and for a time I liked that. We went from dating to seeing each other exclusively to boyfriend and girlfriend. We even discussed marriage even though that was pretty stupid. We only knew each other one month. A little problem arose though. That Christmas work party was coming and I had asked Robin to go. To make things worse Heather worked with me so it was technically her work party too. She and I talked about what to do and I knew Heather wanted me to bow out with Robin and take her instead and really that is what a normal person would have done. But I didn't want to cancel that date. I was over Robin, I was in a good place personally and even had a new girlfriend, yet I didn't want to break that date with Robin.
Heather agreed that I should honor that invitation and that we would just spend time together after so I picked up Robin and headed to the party. When we sat down Heather and a friend of hers decided to come sit with us at our table just to really make it awkward. A good friend from my mission Kevin Marquis and his wife were also there so they were at the table too. It was very awkward. I couldn't really have a conversation with Robin because Heather was right there. I felt bad, because everyone at the table knew what was going on except Robin. I hadn't brought her to be mean to her or rub my new relationship in her face. We were there only an hour or so when I realized what a mistake I'd made and that to be fair to Robin I needed to take her home. At the first opportunity I suggested we leave, that I wasn't feeling well.
She seemed quite surprised that I was taking her home early. On the way home she even suggested that we go do something else. I declined and took her home. It was quite a change for us. Normally I was always trying to extend our time together. I think she realized that finally I was over her. I'll let her tell her side in her own words.
After I dropped her off I went back to the party and spent another few hours with Heather. I couldn't help but compare Robin and Heather. I compared how I felt when I was around them. What we talked about. It wasn't a good comparison for Heather. It was at that moment where things took a downward turn in our relationship. We kept dating for another month but that spark that had brought us together so quickly started to fade. I didn't expect to reunite with Robin. But after that night I knew I wanted somebody like her.
Monday, June 22, 2015
Our Courtship part 1
I decided to break this into two parts because I expect it to be quite lengthy.
I have already detailed how Robin and I met in another post so I thought I would pick up from there and share some memories of what happened after.
Our first date was to a BYU football game and the best I can say for it was I am lucky we had a second date. During the game we watched and cheered and I yelled at the referees which probably should have scared her off, (and nearly did.) As we were leaving she was thinking that it was probably over and I was thinking that I would like to take her out on a real date so I asked her out.
On my end I was intrigued by our conversations. I found that I could talk to her about any subject and she had something to add. We never had those uncomfortable moments of silence that I had with some girls. She laughed at my jokes, she wasn't afraid of spiritual topics. I could tell that the gospel meant a lot to her. The only problem as I saw it was she was so young. She had just arrived in Provo straight out of high school. She certainly wasn't ready for a serious relationship. I was several months off my mission and to put it frankly, I was ready. She knew that too and that sometimes caused problems. The first time we dated I felt like Robin made sure to keep me at arms length. We had fun, we certainly got closer, but I always felt like she was a little caged rabbit, just waiting for me to open the door so she could escape.
Our next date after the football game we went on campus to see a concert. This was a much better setting to talk and get to know each other better and remind ourselves of the night we met. As we walked out of the concert hall I grabbed her hand, which was the first physical contact between us. It seemed like a natural fit to me, I would imagine it scared her half to death.
We dated quite regularly after that but just held hands here and there and certainly had no commitment at that point. It was at the end of the 6th date that we finally kissed. We were sitting on her couch talking and I realized that a kiss was in the air, so I took off my glasses and leaned in. She told me later it was a little too long for her but to me it was very nice.
We dated so much that it all ran together but a few dates I remember.
- I took her to see Beauty and the Beast. We both loved it and for the first time I could tell that she was developing feelings for me. She didn't even seem to be scared. It was probably our first magical night together. I think this is the date we had before our first kiss. I'm sure Robin remembers.
- Preference. Robin asked me to preference and we went with Shawna and Eric who were also dating at that time. We felt like a couple that night for the first time.
- The Laser show I took her to see the Pink Floyd laser show in Salt Lake City. This was really just a cool show more than anything I remember specifically about us that night.
- The Christmas Tree exhibit. We went up to Salt Lake City and saw an exhibit of Christmas trees from around the world. This was either our first date or one of our first dates and Robin was scared to go all the way to Salt Lake City alone with me. (I didn't mind) So we doubled with Steve and Cindy Bartell and had fun. I think this date she felt a lot more comfortable with me after.
- I don't remember a specific date when we did this but on many of our dates we would turn off the radio and sing EFY and other church songs together. From my end it felt magical and right. She told me later that those dates should have scared her the most because it felt so comfortable that it was like we were family but for some reason that didn't scare her.
I know if I give it some thought I could remember more of our dates from the first time but I think that is a good list. If Robin writes her side of this story maybe she will think of more. We grew quite close the first time we dated. A lot closer than Robin ever planned and eventually, more than she was comfortable with. I wasn't really shocked when we drove to the Provo temple to talk and she broke up with me. We had taken the relationship as far as it could go at that time. Probably too far. It didn't make the heartache any less for me, but I knew it was coming so at least that helped a little. I was very much in love but didn't think she felt the same way for me. She was so young, it was too much to ask. But that didn't make it hurt any less.
I dropped her off and parked back in my apartment lot and just sat there with tears streaming down my cheeks. I looked over at where she had been sitting and noticed loose strands of her blonde hair on my car seat. I began picking them off one by one, knowing how much heartache seeing them would bring me in the days to come. I knew she wouldn't be leaving any more again.
The day was March 28th. I had planned to stay and work in Provo that summer but as I drove around town the next few days I kept seeing reminders of Robin. Every restaurant and park seemed to have a memory. I was scared to death I would see her in some other guy's car, laughing and having a good time. I'm so glad I didn't, it would have destroyed me. I decided after a few days that I was going home to Wisconsin. I needed time to heal, to get over her away from all the memories.
I had apparently left some things at Robin's apartment so a few days before I left she asked me to come get them. When I arrived I found that what I left wasn't really all that important. She had used it as an excuse to see me again. She wanted to get my contact information to stay in touch while she went home over the summer. I was fine with that but I didn't expect anything. I felt like she wanted to get rid of me and she had so I needed to get over her. I gave her a hug and told her I had changed my plans and would be going home over the summer. I didn't realize then that that news really affected her. She realized just how much our break-up had affected me. We exchanged phone numbers and addresses and as far as I was concerned as I drove away, that was the end of our relationship.
I have already detailed how Robin and I met in another post so I thought I would pick up from there and share some memories of what happened after.
Our first date was to a BYU football game and the best I can say for it was I am lucky we had a second date. During the game we watched and cheered and I yelled at the referees which probably should have scared her off, (and nearly did.) As we were leaving she was thinking that it was probably over and I was thinking that I would like to take her out on a real date so I asked her out.
On my end I was intrigued by our conversations. I found that I could talk to her about any subject and she had something to add. We never had those uncomfortable moments of silence that I had with some girls. She laughed at my jokes, she wasn't afraid of spiritual topics. I could tell that the gospel meant a lot to her. The only problem as I saw it was she was so young. She had just arrived in Provo straight out of high school. She certainly wasn't ready for a serious relationship. I was several months off my mission and to put it frankly, I was ready. She knew that too and that sometimes caused problems. The first time we dated I felt like Robin made sure to keep me at arms length. We had fun, we certainly got closer, but I always felt like she was a little caged rabbit, just waiting for me to open the door so she could escape.
Our next date after the football game we went on campus to see a concert. This was a much better setting to talk and get to know each other better and remind ourselves of the night we met. As we walked out of the concert hall I grabbed her hand, which was the first physical contact between us. It seemed like a natural fit to me, I would imagine it scared her half to death.
We dated quite regularly after that but just held hands here and there and certainly had no commitment at that point. It was at the end of the 6th date that we finally kissed. We were sitting on her couch talking and I realized that a kiss was in the air, so I took off my glasses and leaned in. She told me later it was a little too long for her but to me it was very nice.
We dated so much that it all ran together but a few dates I remember.
- I took her to see Beauty and the Beast. We both loved it and for the first time I could tell that she was developing feelings for me. She didn't even seem to be scared. It was probably our first magical night together. I think this is the date we had before our first kiss. I'm sure Robin remembers.
- Preference. Robin asked me to preference and we went with Shawna and Eric who were also dating at that time. We felt like a couple that night for the first time.
- The Laser show I took her to see the Pink Floyd laser show in Salt Lake City. This was really just a cool show more than anything I remember specifically about us that night.
- The Christmas Tree exhibit. We went up to Salt Lake City and saw an exhibit of Christmas trees from around the world. This was either our first date or one of our first dates and Robin was scared to go all the way to Salt Lake City alone with me. (I didn't mind) So we doubled with Steve and Cindy Bartell and had fun. I think this date she felt a lot more comfortable with me after.
- I don't remember a specific date when we did this but on many of our dates we would turn off the radio and sing EFY and other church songs together. From my end it felt magical and right. She told me later that those dates should have scared her the most because it felt so comfortable that it was like we were family but for some reason that didn't scare her.
I know if I give it some thought I could remember more of our dates from the first time but I think that is a good list. If Robin writes her side of this story maybe she will think of more. We grew quite close the first time we dated. A lot closer than Robin ever planned and eventually, more than she was comfortable with. I wasn't really shocked when we drove to the Provo temple to talk and she broke up with me. We had taken the relationship as far as it could go at that time. Probably too far. It didn't make the heartache any less for me, but I knew it was coming so at least that helped a little. I was very much in love but didn't think she felt the same way for me. She was so young, it was too much to ask. But that didn't make it hurt any less.
I dropped her off and parked back in my apartment lot and just sat there with tears streaming down my cheeks. I looked over at where she had been sitting and noticed loose strands of her blonde hair on my car seat. I began picking them off one by one, knowing how much heartache seeing them would bring me in the days to come. I knew she wouldn't be leaving any more again.
The day was March 28th. I had planned to stay and work in Provo that summer but as I drove around town the next few days I kept seeing reminders of Robin. Every restaurant and park seemed to have a memory. I was scared to death I would see her in some other guy's car, laughing and having a good time. I'm so glad I didn't, it would have destroyed me. I decided after a few days that I was going home to Wisconsin. I needed time to heal, to get over her away from all the memories.
I had apparently left some things at Robin's apartment so a few days before I left she asked me to come get them. When I arrived I found that what I left wasn't really all that important. She had used it as an excuse to see me again. She wanted to get my contact information to stay in touch while she went home over the summer. I was fine with that but I didn't expect anything. I felt like she wanted to get rid of me and she had so I needed to get over her. I gave her a hug and told her I had changed my plans and would be going home over the summer. I didn't realize then that that news really affected her. She realized just how much our break-up had affected me. We exchanged phone numbers and addresses and as far as I was concerned as I drove away, that was the end of our relationship.
Sunday, June 21, 2015
When we first met
This story oddly enough begins on my mission. A little past the half way point of my mission I was called as a District Leader in Afton Wyoming in Star Valley. That area was easily the most beautiful area of my mission. I really loved the aspens on the hills which were turning bright shades of orange and red when I arrived. My companion was Elder Ethan Weyand, a nice guy who had a dry wit and seemed to find humor in nearly everything we did. We hit it off pretty quickly and really enjoyed our time together, but after only one month we were both transferred. We left friends, but probably not enough that we would keep up with that friendship after our missions.
Luckily a few short months later we were put together again in Rawlins, Wyoming. We had a blast together and our friendship was cemented. We both came home the same day and both ended up in Provo, Utah a few months later. In October he called me up and asked me if I would like to come play raquetball and afterwards visit his girlfriend's apartment to watch the Simpsons. At first I balked, I didn't really feel like playing that night, but he reminded me that there would be other girls at the apartment and that piqued my interest. (And not because I was a player. That statement is for the older girls.)
After a few hours of playing we showered and headed over to an apartment complex just south of the BYU campus. I remember very little about Ethan's girlfriend or the apartment. But I do remember my thoughts as I saw the cute blonde girl on the couch doing her homework. Her hair was curly and fell loosely around her shoulders. She looked up when we came in and I was met with the bluest eyes I'd ever seen.
I don't remember introducing myself but I must have. I don't remember how we started talking but we did. I do remember Ethan and his girlfriend Mary looking like they wanted to be alone so we decided to go talk in the kitchen. The girl's name was Robin and we found we could talk about anything and did so for hours. In fact it was around 2 in the morning when we finally decided we should get going. We had talked about the gospel and the last days and so many other things that evening. I knew I wanted to see Robin again but I didn't want to seem too eager so like a fool I decided to play it cool and not make a move. Luckily she was the smarter one, she asked me out to a football game that Saturday. Thank goodness she did because Ethan and Mary broke up later that week. How would I have found an excuse to ask her out?
I didn't know it that night but my life had just changed forever. I had just found the love of my life. I am grateful for that day every day of my life.
Luckily a few short months later we were put together again in Rawlins, Wyoming. We had a blast together and our friendship was cemented. We both came home the same day and both ended up in Provo, Utah a few months later. In October he called me up and asked me if I would like to come play raquetball and afterwards visit his girlfriend's apartment to watch the Simpsons. At first I balked, I didn't really feel like playing that night, but he reminded me that there would be other girls at the apartment and that piqued my interest. (And not because I was a player. That statement is for the older girls.)
After a few hours of playing we showered and headed over to an apartment complex just south of the BYU campus. I remember very little about Ethan's girlfriend or the apartment. But I do remember my thoughts as I saw the cute blonde girl on the couch doing her homework. Her hair was curly and fell loosely around her shoulders. She looked up when we came in and I was met with the bluest eyes I'd ever seen.
I don't remember introducing myself but I must have. I don't remember how we started talking but we did. I do remember Ethan and his girlfriend Mary looking like they wanted to be alone so we decided to go talk in the kitchen. The girl's name was Robin and we found we could talk about anything and did so for hours. In fact it was around 2 in the morning when we finally decided we should get going. We had talked about the gospel and the last days and so many other things that evening. I knew I wanted to see Robin again but I didn't want to seem too eager so like a fool I decided to play it cool and not make a move. Luckily she was the smarter one, she asked me out to a football game that Saturday. Thank goodness she did because Ethan and Mary broke up later that week. How would I have found an excuse to ask her out?
I didn't know it that night but my life had just changed forever. I had just found the love of my life. I am grateful for that day every day of my life.
And here, we, go!
This is the inaugural post of the Fluegel Family Blog.
As we try to follow the counsel of the prophet to keep the Sabbath day holy. I have given thought to the types of activities on this day that would appropriately show Heavenly Father the sign of our devotion to him, I thought of writing in a blog all the family memories and stories we could remember. Someday I will no longer be here, and I want my children to hear my own voice through these words.
I invite my wife, my children and others in our family to contribute to our history, our stories, our memories. I don't expect this to be a chronological setting. It doesn't matter to me what order the stories are in, only that they are told. Photos and videos are also welcome although I do believe there is a limit on storage so we should keep these to a minimum.
So here we go.
As we try to follow the counsel of the prophet to keep the Sabbath day holy. I have given thought to the types of activities on this day that would appropriately show Heavenly Father the sign of our devotion to him, I thought of writing in a blog all the family memories and stories we could remember. Someday I will no longer be here, and I want my children to hear my own voice through these words.
I invite my wife, my children and others in our family to contribute to our history, our stories, our memories. I don't expect this to be a chronological setting. It doesn't matter to me what order the stories are in, only that they are told. Photos and videos are also welcome although I do believe there is a limit on storage so we should keep these to a minimum.
So here we go.
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