Bed Time Stories (and other night-time activities)

Back in the late 90s, early 2000s, there were only five of us Fluegel girls. The older twins, Ashley and Elizabeth (me), had our own room, and the younger set of twins Rebecca and Laura, shared the room right next door. Jessica, right in the middle of the twins, would often be switched, sometimes living in the older twins' room, and other times with the younger twins'. This is important to know because this effected very much our night-time routine.

 Of course, we didn't like going to bed, what little kids do? So as Mommy would put us to bed, we would use our extremely good persuasive skills and ask Mommy "Can you tell us a Mommy story?" Sometimes Mommy would oblige us with a story of her childhood, which we always found fascinating and I think I still remember most of them. When we couldn't get her to tell a story, we would try hunger "Mommy, I'm hungry!" to which Mommy would kindly get us a few slices of cheese. If this didn't work, we'd try "Mommy I forgot to brush my teeth!" "Mommy I forgot my stuffed animal in the living room" and anything else you can think of. Mom tried her hardest to get us to calm down at bedtime, and played many different types of music to get us to calm down, this usually worked well, such as instrumental music (from the CD Graft); Titanic music (but only if she skipped the scary loud songs); Enya music; and my personal favorite, my "Baby Song" Blue Eyes by Elton John.

None of us really know what was so exciting about night, but something about the sun being down made our inner vampire come out and we were ready to play the night away the second Mommy (after our constant badgering) left the room and said goodnight. Bedtime=playtime in our eyes. We came up with many games to play in the dark, a few stand out in my mind the most:

(Mom and Dad, here are all the awesome games we were playing before you came in and forced us to go to sleep!)

The Cats and Dog game: Jessica was always the Dog, and Ashley and I were Cats. The cats were allowed onto the top bunk bed, but the Dog was definitely not! The Dog could however, jump up and try to reach us while we were on the top. Basically it was a game of chasing, and all the while we would make "Meow" noises and Jessica would make Dog noises. It was terribly thrilling, and we played that as often as we could convince Jessica, because who doesn't want to be chased around by Jessica acting like a Dog?

Murder: This game was usually just between Ashley and I. We had seen a scene from Braveheart when Mom was watching it, where his wife was tied up to a stake and then these bad guys came up and sliced her neck and her head fell forward all limp and dead. It was quite traumatizing to us, so naturally we had to act it out. So, usually on the top bunk bed, one of us got to be the girl and the other one was the murderer bad guy. The girl would stand straight against the wall, then the bad guy would take his finger, and swipe it across the girl's neck (fake knife) and then the girl's head would fall forward. We usually dramatized this even further by falling forward onto the bed face first. It was quite exciting to be murdered! Then we would switch places and do it again so both of us got the chance to be murdered. It sounds quite morbid now...but back then it was quite thrilling!

Spying on Jessica: This wasn't just a night-time game, in fact it happened all the time. Ashley had a pair of binoculars, and I had a notepad, and Ashley would "Spy on Jessica" and tell me all the maliciously evil things Jessica was up to and I would write them down. I remember one particular night when Jessica was sleeping in the hallway inbetween the two bedrooms (I'll explain why later), and she was making up songs and singing them to herself, so we wrote them down while she sang them, and snickered to each other the whole time until she discovered us and we scurried back to our beds before she could harm us.

Sneaking into Becca and Laura's room: So when Jessica slept in the younger twins' room, Ashley and I would get bored with our usual chatting and murder games (dying is only so much fun), and we knew that Becca, Laura and Jessica were probably having way more fun than we were, so we made a game out of being very very sneaky, and crawling and silently as we could into Becca and Laura's room. If they were talking or playing, they usually didn't notice us until we were right next to their bed. I don't know why it was so fun, but even just laying there next to their bed without them knowing we were there was pretty exciting! Eventually we'd let ourselves get found (Jessica was usually on to us), and we'd get chased out of the room, which was of course what we wanted to happen.

These are just the stories I remember, so I asked the other girls, and Becca and Laura reminded me of a few more:

Laura: "I remember BEFORE bedtime, we'd get into our footy pajamas and slide down the staircase and somehow all five of us were able to go down at the same time. It had to be footy PJs otherwise you'd get rug burn.
I also remember Becca and I playing barbies because we thought Dad was far away in the living room and then he caught us and it was the scariest thing because he (somehow) crept up on us even though he was big. Silent and deadly"

Becca: "I remember talking SO much underneath the blankets and jumping on our bed that we would check if mom and dad were in their bedroom. A lot of times Dad would be sitting in the hallway on his laptop and that was enough to know that he was watching! Those moments were terrifying, yet so thrilling to sneak around!
I remember the infamous story-telling by Jessica, where we would create imaginary worlds based off of themes, or listen to a tale she made up right there and then. We would talk for hours and hours, but it was the giggling that caught us!"
Speaking of getting caught, punishments are also quite vivid in our memories!

As you can tell, we kept Mom and Dad on their toes at bedtime, and they had to make up different ways to get through to us and get us to settle down.
Some punishments we remember are:

1. Mom sitting in the hallway with both doors open so she could see all of us and make sure we didn't get out of bed or talk

2. Getting our pillows and blankets taken away for a little while so we would want them back and go to sleep. This one was quite creative Mom, it really did create the effect you wanted. Except that one time when you fell asleep watching TV and we still didn't have our pillows back. Ashley devised a plan though and we successfully completed our mission of sneaking into the living room and saving our pillows, blankets, and stuffed animals from the couch without being seen.

3. Sleeping in the Hallway: Mom would take the troublemaker and make them sleep in the hallway as punishment for acting up. Because this was usually Jessica, (common denominator), the hallway became such a usual place of sleeping for Jessica that she began to like it a lot, and started asking to sleep in the hallway every night, it was like her own little room away from all the twins.

4. Dad coming in and telling us to go to bed. This was quite effective, mostly because Dad wasn't home all the time and he was ten times scarier than Mom (Mom wasn't very mean ;).
I remember one time Ashley and I had been making "nests" where we take all of our bedding and create this nest around us to sleep in, and I somehow ended up on the top bunk with Ashley, and after goofing around somehow I ended up tangled up in blankets, hanging upside down with my head almost touching the bottom bunk (it was an L-shaped bunkbed), we were giggling hysterically and uncontrollably. I remember looking across the room at the slightly open door, and from my upside down view, suddenly realized that Dad's face was peeking out in the crack in the door, just watching us. I tried to warn Ashley but I couldn't stop laughing, so even when I said her name she couldn't sense any warning. I don't remember what happened after that, but I remember feeling terrified and very much "in trouble."

5. Spankings: These weren't terrible, but they were usually only used when every other option had been exhausted, sometimes spankings were the only way for the parents to show they were serious and done with us playing and giggling the second they left us alone. One story stands out in the minds of the younger girls the most with regards to this. From the eyes of Becca, here's the last story I'll share:

"There is this sudden, surprised feeling a little child gets from being thrown into the air, upside down. Add a huge spank onto that and you get a sobbing little 3-4year old Becca. I don't remember much of the conversation afterward, where Jessica confessed that she was the one to blame for all the noise and messing around (that time). Poor Dad had to apologize for grabbing the wrong child, but hey, when you are in the dark and there are three little girls under the covers, what are you supposed to do? Grab 'em all at once? No, grab a bony little leg and lift them up! It shouldn't be to hard-6 legs-they ALL deserve it, don't they? No (as he soon learned).....but it had to be me for some reason. Mostly, I recall the crying afterwards. It was mostly from the injustice in my little mind (even though I had it coming) that I was the one to get spanked that way. I think I wished Laura and Jessica to be sprung into the air and spanked too! Maybe even more aggressively! Now, ten years later, we can always laugh and chuckle at those good old days. It's one of the stories that we won't ever really forget, because I don't think we can with Jessica's little voice saying, "Dad, it was me."

Well, that's the detailed explanation of why we were holy terrors at bedtime!
I couldn't find the picture of us going down the stairs in our footie pajamas, but here is one where we are stuffing ourselves with sugar and being pretty cool with our nutty bar-ice cream cone combinations.

-Elizabeth Fluegel

21 Years Ago Today

Roughly three months into our marriage Robin and I felt like we wanted to start on our family right away. We had heard of other couples trying for their first child taking five or six months to get pregnant so we thought we would start in November and see what happens. The first month off the pill Robin missed her monthly time but we thought it was probably just the effects of being off the pill. But another week went by so she decided to go get a test at the doctor. I remember sitting in the waiting area wondering if my life had just changed when she walked out with this smile on her face and informed me that she had a little baby on the way. I wish I could say what my reaction was or that it was appropriate for the setting but I don't remember much of anything after she told me. I was probably in a little bit of shock and I really didn't know what it all meant. The months cruised along, we started telling family that we were expecting and we went to all the appointments at the doctor one goes to and then came the ultrasound. The doctor told Robin he wanted an ultrasound to check and make sure everything was good with the baby and also because sometimes babies like to bring a friend along. I don't think either of us gave it much thought that we could have twins. It's just not something you think about. So we entered the room and they put gel on her stomach and started looking around in there. I wasn't the old pro I am now so I didn't recognize what I was seeing on the screen. The ultrasound technician said, "Did the Doctor tell you you were measuring big for your months?" We said, "Yes." "Well that's because there are two in there!" I don't remember anything else that happened that day or really for the next few days. I just remember the utter shock I felt. It was a happy shock but the thought of twins just blew me away. When we found out we were having one it changed everything. Now with twins it had happened again. We continued on to May and went to another appointment where the doctor informed Robin that she was too small. She needed to put on some more weight for the good of the babies. My mother had just given us a homemade ice cream maker so we put it to good use. We made homemade chocolate, pina colada, vanilla and several other batches. By the end of the month both Robin and I had put on ten pounds. We continued to have many ultrasounds week after week until we got to the 36th week which was in July. It was the 21st of July when we went in for our final ultrasound. The technician told us that the amniotic fluid was low. The then told us to come back the next day to most likely be induced. We went home and made our final preparations for our new babies. While we did so we talked late into the evening and had a great time with each other. What seemed like just a few minutes after we finally went to bed Robin woke me up to tell me her water had broken, we needed to get to the hospital right away. It was about 3 AM. We gathered our things and headed up to the hospital. I again had this surreal feeling. Like I was watching it all occur out of body. Almost a numbness as I took it all in. I was definitely excited but for what, I had no idea. The concept of babies and fatherhood was just a foreign concept. The doctor wasn't even at the hospital as the day progressed. He had gone to a fair with his family. A few hours before the babes arrived Robin began feeling a fair amount of pain with her contractions. They called for an epidural and while in the middle of receiving it another contraction came. The pain went away like a miracle. Now Robin only felt pressure during the contractions but not pain. The epidural worked so well that Robin was able to fall asleep. I hadn't eaten anything yet that day so I ran over to McDonalds and grabbed drive thru. As I pulled in to the hospital I heard a little voice in my head, different than my own, which said, "We're coming Daddy, hurry back." I rushed in expecting to see Robin in delivery but she was still sleeping. When she woke up she said that something felt different. She felt pressure. I ran out and got the nurse who came in and checked her. I watched her check Robin and lo and behold there was a head. I could see the dark hair on it. I was pretty excited and told Robin I saw our little baby. The problem was, the doctor wasn't even there. The nurse went to call him and make preparations so I took the opportunity to touch that little head. It was the first time I touched one of my children. They gave me a white jumpsuit and whisked Robin away to the c-section room just in case. Our first baby would be born head first, but the second was coming feet first, which meant the doctor would have to pull the baby out by its feet. We were very lucky to have a doctor willing to do that kind of delivery. Dr. Judson was the best. He finally arrived in his shorts and tennis shoes and very calmly got his robes on to do the delivery. Elizabeth was born very shortly after he got there. She was 6 lbs 3 oz and had dark beautiful hair. She wouldn't cry though. The doctor kept patting her butt but she wouldn't cry so he handed her off to the respiratory team which took her into a different room to work on her. She was breathing but she just wouldn't cry. She was so small and pink and perfect. I can't remember the rush of emotions I felt as I stared down at that little miracle. I didn't understand then how much my life had just changed. Suddenly I heard a call from the delivery room to come back. I left Elizabeth and came back to see the doctor with his arm in the birth canal, trying to get a hold on Ashley. At first he grabbed hold but said he had gotten an arm and a leg. Then he reached again and got both legs. He began to twist and pull until eventually two small feet emerged. They were even smaller than Elizabeth. He kept pulling and pulling until finally out popped the head. Little Ashley wasted no time and cried her lungs out. Just a few seconds later we heard Elizabeth letting loose in the other room. It was almost as if they were waiting for each other. After they worked on her they handed me Ashley so she was the first child I held. As I walked her to the nursery she was very alert and looking straight up at me. That was it, I was wrapped around both of their fingers from then on. In the nursery I got watch them have their first baths. Ashley didn't like it, Elizabeth didn't mind as much, she just grunted as they washed her up. They put Elizabeth and Ashley in the same incubator which I thought was really special. After a little while the babies could finally be taken to Robin. She was so happy to see them. It was such a special day. Made even more special as these two angels have grown up. I realize now just how special that day was, how it changed everything in my universe. I am so grateful for my two sweet girls who made me a Daddy. I love you Elizabeth and Ashley.

Reflections on the Past

One of my earliest memories in life is of a little spot at Krape Park in Freeport.  The road crosses Yellow Creek and runs along on the west side for some time before turning the corner and beginning a climb up Flagstaff hill.  Just before that climb a little turn off will take you down to a perfect fishing spot a little out of the way from the rest of the park.  This is where I spent many a summer day fishing with my Grandma Hadju.  She had a folding chair set up right by the water's edge and would have a cane pole or two set up with a worm and a bobber.  I would sit with Grandma and watch that bobber, hoping to see a little nibble.  Grandma and I would talk as we waited.  Funny thing is I don't remember anything we ever talked about.  I just remember that spot and the hours of fun we spent together staring at a little bobber in the water. 

Sometimes after a large rainstorm little pools of water would appear in the tire tracks of the dirt road.  Grandma would put fish in those little pools to keep while we fished.  I remember Grandma caught a rather large catfish once and put it into one of those pools.  I sat and watched it swim around and grew somewhat attached to it.  Then I found out it was a mother with babies on the way.  I was broken hearted.  I knew what was going to happen to that pour fish.  I pleaded with Grandma to set it free and after some time she relented and put it back in the creek.  I still remember her smirk as she and I watched the fish swim away. 

Having parents who are divorced was no picnic.  Tracey, Trisha and I would spend weekends out on the farm and week days at home, although we were usually home in time for church.  I have many fond memories of the farm.  I wanted so bad to show I was a man and help out.  In the beginning I would go around with Grandma Fluegel feeding the milk cows as they were milked.  She had an orange cart on rollers she would fill with grain and would go from cow to cow giving them a scoop each of grain.  In the barn there was the bullpen, which was not a very nice place.  It always stank and even when the bull was out we stayed out of there because of the mess on the floor.  There was a little calf pen at the back of the barn which we used as a jail for all of our make believe games.  It was perfect.  Then right up a latter we would go into the hayloft.  That was a place of wonders.  The best hide and seek games ever played took place in that loft.  There were several levels to it and although it was really hot in the summer we still had a blast up there.  Usually my cousins Tammy and Christine would come out at the same time so the five of us would spend hours in the barn playing.  Of course I was the only boy so many times I was outvoted but I should have known then what the Lord had in store for me.  For much of my life I have been the only boy.  I guess the Lord was preparing me early. 

Sometimes those farm visits would happen over Christmas break.  Dad had bought us each a sled.  Sometimes he pulled us behind his snowmobile which was fun but a little scary.  We found a little spot in between the fields that was perfect for sledding.  It descended a pretty nice hill and if you caught enough air at the bottom you could jump the small stream that was frozen over.  I remember coming back from those excursions frozen from head to toe because we had stayed way too long and even at times until it was dark.  We would get to Grandma's house and strip off all our wet coats and gloves and sit on the heater thawing out.  Fun times.

Songs of the Heart...sort of

Our Fluegel family has many interests, and one unanimously loved by all is music. We love to sing, dance (well some of us), and listen to music whenever possible. Here is a lovely excerpt of one of these moments that took place sometime last Christmas break.

My Thoughts on the Supreme Court Ruling on Gay Marriage

This week the Supreme Court has ruled that same sex marriage shall be legal in all 50 states.  It is a ruling I was expecting so I am not shocked.  I hoped that they would be wise but I did not expect they would.  I thought I would spend a few moments while it is still fresh in my mind. 

We have reached a turning point in the history of our nation.  We were founded on principles of liberty and justice but those very concepts were rooted in the Judeo-Christian beliefs of our founders.  John Adams said, "Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other."

The plan of Satan from the beginning was to take away our freedom of choice, freedom of religion, freedom of belief.  So I do not believe we should force our beliefs on those who don't agree with us.  But Satan hates this nation precisely because it espouses the belief in freedom.  The United States has ever been a light to the world of what liberty can mean to the sons and daughters of God.  He has sought from the beginning to destroy it.  This week he has taken the single greatest step towards that goal than any war, any depression, or any other threat than has ever faced it.  This is the tipping point.  We are witnessing the overthrow of the principles that are the reason for America.  Those who came to plymouth rock were seeking freedom of religion.  They were seeking a place where they could worship according to the dictates of their own conscious.  Yet this ruling will lead to the downfall of religion as we know it. 

Already this week some are calling for the removal of tax exempt status from religions who do not recognize the rights of gay people to marry.  If that were to happen hundreds if not thousands of churches would simply have to close their doors.  That is the ultimate goal of Satan and his followers.  This has nothing to do with equal rights, it has everything to do with ending God's work in this country.  In one day all who still follow Christ have become bigots, intolerant of the "legal" rights of others.  See how quickly we will descend down this slippery slope? 

If I were trying to destroy this country this is how I would do it.  I would reach into the very homes of good families and minimize the family unit until it is destroyed.  I would separate sexual desire from morality making it okay to do whatever you like so long as it feels good.  I would have the schools teaching the children from their earliest years against morals and religion and God.  Nothing would destroy us quicker and nothing will as we have done exactly that.

Soon we will have to choose between jobs and friendships and acceptance of society and our beliefs.  We will soon be pariahs and to some we already are.  Through his prophets both ancient and modern we have been warned what will become of this nation if the majority will turn against God.  In Sodom and Gomorrah God let it be known once and for all how he views sexual perversion.  The destruction was so great and terrible that Lot's family was told to put theirs backs to it and not even turn around to watch from a safe distance.  In the Book of Mormon this was written as king Mosiah stepped down and a system of judges  replaced him. 

"Now it is not common that the voice of the people desireth anything contrary to that which is right; but it is common for the lesser part of the people to desire that which is not right; therefore this shall ye observe and make it your law—to do your business by the voice of the people.
"And if the time comes that the voice of the people doth choose iniquity, then is the time that the judgments of God will come upon you; yea, then is the time he will visit you with great destruction even as he has hitherto visited this land." (Mosiah 29:26-27)

I believe if you asked this nation the question you would now find that a majority of them agree withe Supreme Court's ruling.  In modern days the prophets have not been silent.  Exactly 20 years ago the First Presidency released a "Proclamation to the World,"  The key points in it seemed a little redundant and even unnecessary at the time.  But how prescient these words are now.

"All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose."

"The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife."

"The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity."

And these statements are followed by this warning,  
 
"We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.
We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society."

This prophetic warning is certainly as in force as those of ancient times.  We as a nation have violated the laws of God, and when we are ripe we will suffer the consequences.  I can only hope that the prayers of the righteous will yet spare us for a season because there are those even in my own family who are partaking in these bad fruits.  I love them, I want their happiness in this life but more importantly the life to come.  I hope for her all the blessings of eternity.  I know she still knows the truth and she knows the way to happiness but I also know that doing the right thing would be really hard for her and that she is not ready yet.  I pray every day  that she will receive the strength she needs to step back onto the path.

I make no predictions on what exactly will come to pass with this ruling.  I just know that it is not of God.  In fact is in direct opposition to his will.  I know that this ruling is significant.  I know that I feel a sense of foreboding now that  I didn't feel before.  I know that the speed at which we have fallen is shocking.  I feel we are as the Nephites, who were saved as a nation time and time again and had so many reasons to follow God and give thanks and yet within the course of only a few years we have forgotten all and turned our backs on him.  He does not give us rules to enslave us, he gives us commandments to set us free.  Yet this week my country has chosen chains and death. 

I close with a clip that I believe sums this up perfectly.

Early Writings

This is something I wrote some time ago.  I'm not really sure when I wrote it or what was going on in my life but as we sort through old drawers we found it.  I'm glad your mom saved it.  So let me know what you think.

My name is of no consequence.  My age is irrelevant.  Those who are like me know me.  Those who are not wonder about me.  I have set out on a journey with no idea how to find the road or which road or even if there is a road.  I have learned things along the way and believe I have a map but it is nearly impossible to follow.

I have an enemy on this journey.  He visits along the way.  He puts markers on the road that cause me long delays and make me lose my way.  He puts fog in the air so I can't read my map.  Sometimes when he is no where in sight I cast down my map and try to walk without it. Then I wonder around at the crossroads wondering which way to go.  No map, no one to instruct me.  I never feel more alone on my journey than during these times.  I stumble around until I find it again.  I tell myself never to let go of it again but I know I will.  I just hope that I am farther down the road than when I let go of it.  Sometimes I know that I am.  I have a real problem staying on the road because I walk head down.  I rarely look far enough ahead to make sure I am walking the straight line, so I end up getting lost far too often. 

My enemy is back, he senses I am making some progress.  This infuriates him.  He disguises himself and pretends to show me a short-cut.  What a fool I am.  Of course I follow.  I have such a hard time saying no to him.  A wind comes from no where and his disguise is lifted.  My enemy looks at me with that knowing smile.  Like he just knows he will always win.  I leave him and make back for the direction I thought the road lay but with little confidence I will find it again.  I vow to watch more closely for the enemy next time, but I don't really believe.  The enemy always appears so friendly, but I see in his eyes he wants to destroy me.  I finally remember my map, it somehow is always able to tell me exactly where I am and to get on the right road again. 

I walk further and I realize I have no idea how long the journey will be.  It seems so long already, but I know it is just a small blip in the time line of eternity.  I know I can't fail here or the light in the distance will never be reached.  Why is it that it seems like the only people on the road with me are so far ahead?  Everyone seems to be having an easier time than me.  My road is the rockiest, the steepest, the most hazardous.  I rest sometimes thinking I have earned it.  I sit down square in the middle of the road and rest.  When I get back up the road is gone.  I am lost again.  How did that happen?  This can be such a confusing place.  I somehow make my way back yet again but my energy is expended.  I am so tired.  I can't rest, I can't find an inn along the way. 

My journey continues demanding my strength, my concentration, my sacrifice, my everything.  It is hard to keep focused on the light ahead.  Sometimes that light even seems a little closer but that isn't enough to motivate me.  I slump over.  Up ahead I see people continuing on.  Somewhere on another road I hear my enemy laughing.  He has won.  I always thought he would.  Suddenly I hear him shriek.  I see a movement on the road ahead but I am too weary to look. 

A light fills all around.  I look up and see the face of he that comes.  The look on that face.  I know I will never forget it.  A look of such complete love and tenderness.  He reaches for me and touches me.  My strength returns.  He gently lifts me to my feet and wraps his arms around me. 

"Well done," he whispers.

I do not understand.  Then he explains.  "For some, the road is easier and filled with less pitfalls.  Each individual has his own length of road to walk."  He pauses and fixes my eyes with a piercing stare,  "When you can walk no more the light will come to you.  It matters not how long your road is but that you never stop trying." 

He takes my hand and leads me forward as the light surrounds us.  For the first time in forever I feel peace, I feel love.  Somewhere I hear my enemy.  He is weeping.  I am crying as well but these are tears of joy.  Every struggle, every moment of despair, I remember now why I started this journey.  It was because I knew this would be worth it and as I look in my Savior's eyes the light brightens and I know, my smile will last an eternity

Our Courtship part 3

It's early January and although I am still dating Heather I already know it isn't going anywhere.  There was nothing wrong with her.  She just wasn't for me.  I think in an effort to rekindle our flagging relationship she offered to cook me dinner for my birthday on the 5th.  I accepted more out of obligation than excitement but as we sat down to eat in my apartment it was nice but not special.  Then in the middle of dinner the phone rang and guess who.  Robin was calling to wish me a happy birthday.  I didn't let Heather know who it was and obviously couldn't talk right then but I realized something very important, I wanted to.  That sealed it for me.  Here I was, having a birthday dinner with my girlfriend, and all I wanted was to talk to Robin.  I made arrangements to talk to Robin later that night and ended the dinner with Heather as quickly as I could.  A few days later I had the talk with Heather that it was over and if anything, she was relieved.  She wasn't feeling it any more either.

Robin and I talked the night of my birthday for what seemed like hours.  Even though I knew it was over with Heather I held out no hope that things would work out with Robin.  It had taken me a long time, but I was over her and didn't want to open myself up to that kind of heartache again. I did value our friendship though and wanted that to continue.  I dated a little in the few weeks after Heather but nothing serious.  I took one girl to an incredible movie during that time.  It was called "A River Runs Through It," by Robert Redford.  It was a movie about two brothers and their father who lived in Montana.  They went fly fishing together and the film followed the brothers as they grew.  Their father instilled in the brothers a reverence for fishing and their time together.  It became for them a metaphor for life.  The ending was very powerful and for some reason I found myself in tears as the credits began to roll.  I looked over to my date to talk about how amazing the movie was and she was asleep.  Needless to say, I wasn't impressed.

So a few weeks after my break up Robin called and wanted to go out and spend some time together.  There something different in her call this time.  Somehow I knew that.  I don't recall what we did that first time but after a date or two I took her to see that movie.  I wasn't testing her.  In fact I was scared to death of becoming anything more than friends again.  I didn't want to go through what I had the last summer and fall.  I could tell during the movie that she got it.  She certainly wasn't asleep.  In fact, somewhere in the middle she leaned her head against my arm.  It seems like such a small thing in retrospect, but in reality it was everything.  I knew what it meant, for me, for her, for us.  She wanted us to be us again.  It was everything I had spent nearly a year hoping for, and yet dreaded as well.  Could I trust her this time?  I wasn't that puppy dog any more.  I didn't need her in my life to be happy. 

I spent what seemed like forever looking down at her hand, which was on the arm rest between us.  I knew if I just put my hand on hers that we would be a couple again, although to what end I had no idea.  I didn't expect an eternal commitment from her.  I just wanted to know that this time she would be all in.  In the end I had to ask myself what I really wanted.  I had to trust her.  The feelings had never left me.  I never stopped caring for her.  So I put my hand on hers and she looked up and gave me a little smile.  That was all I needed.  I knew I'd done the right thing.

After the movie we held hands and I dropped her off at her apartment and practically floated back to my car.  I was happy like I'd never been before.  The next month was a whirlwind.  There was a night when she couldn't see me as she had to study so I grabbed a pint of ice cream and stopped over at her place.  Everybody needs a break, right?

That night we sat on the couch and she made me kiss her.  Just kidding, I had every intention of kissing her when I bought the ice cream.  I knew the girls in her apartment had a pact that when they kissed a guy for the first time they owed everybody ice cream.   So let's just say, I left the ice cream for her and her roommates.

As the days wore on we were getting closer and closer.  This time I noticed a change in Robin.  She wasn't holding back any more.  She was letting it go wherever it went.  We had a pretty fun date along the way where I took her up to the mouth of the canyon and we started a little fire and made tinfoil dinners.  Whenever we have them I always think about that night and that date.  We felt like a little couple as we made the food together.  We felt like family.  The first time we dated that would have scared her, but this time she didn't let it.

Another experience we had was at a fireside with President Howard W. Hunter who at the time was the President of the Quorum of the Twelve.  As we sat waiting for it to begin I noticed a man in a white suit with a pony tail holding a briefcase.  I commented to Robin that his look was rather odd among all the students at BYU.  As President Hunter stood to speak the man rushed the stage and told everyone he had a bomb.  He then placed a paper in front of President Hunter which he told him to read.  We found out later that the paper had a statement calling him the new prophet of the church and that people should follow him.  We found out later the man's name was Cody Judy.   The man kept threatening President Hunter, but he kept shaking his head, telling the man he wouldn't read it.  As the terrible scene developed someone starting singing "We Thank Thee Oh God For a Prophet" and everyone joined in.  It was one of the most amazing  renditions of that song I've ever heard.

Eventually a girl approached the stage and sprayed the man with pepper spray as some young men snuck behind the stage and eventually tackled him.   As they took him down President Hunter's bodyguards slammed him to the ground and covered him, thinking a bomb was about to go off.  When it all went down Robin grabbed me and cried in my shoulder.  All I could think about was her safety.  We found out later he had nothing in his briefcase, there was no bomb, and the guy was checked into a mental hospital.  Afterward President Hunter got up and still gave his talk.  The first line was "Sometimes in life we have challenges."  Everyone laughed at the irony.

After the talk we went over to Shawna and Eric's, who were now married, to tell them what had happened.  We watched a movie for a while with them but they decided to go to bed and left us there on their couch to finish the movie.  It had been quite the emotional rollercoaster that night.  We just held each other and didn't pay too much attention to the movie.  I just sat there with her thankful that she was mine.  I remember just kissing her lightly on the cheeks over and over again.  Then she said something that floored me.  She said that when she pictured the rest of her life, she just couldn't imagine me not being in it.  I couldn't hide my surprise.  It was the first time she had ever talked about us like that.  It was a game changer for us.  I realized once and for all that she cared for me as much as I cared for her.

After that night I decided I wanted to something really special for her. It was a week before Valentines Day so I decided I would doing something special each day of the week leading up to Valentine's Day.  One day I brought her a rose, on another I wrote her a poem.  I know there were chocolates involved, I bought her a little white teddy bear as well.  I also did a tape (yes tape) of love songs that reminded me of her.  I know I have forgotten a few but you get the idea.  For Valentine's day I decided I would take her three places so I went to each ahead of time and gave the manager a rose that they would pull out and give to Robin when we arrived later.  I thought I was taking her to a really nice Japanese Restaurant but I should have scouted it better.  The food and atmosphere were awful.  Robin took it in stride though.  We ended up at the Baskin Robbins where I gave her the final rose.  She was pretty impressed I think.  It was a fun evening.

As time passed we saw each other every chance we got.  I don't think Robin got very good grades that semester.  We continued to talk seriously and even began discussing marriage.  We both agreed that we would take it slow and things continued to progress as they were, we would get engaged the next fall.  I didn't tell Robin but I planned a trip to the Salt Lake City Temple with my roommate.  I needed to pray about Robin and our relationship and get the Lord's endorsement.  I fasted all that day and planned on praying in the celestial room after the session was over.  In the Terrestrial room as they were inviting patrons to participate in the prayer I felt prompted to go.  Usually I didn't.  So I listened to the promptings and went up.  During the prayer the officiator said, "and if anyone is here in the temple this night seeking a special answer to prayer, please grant it unto them."  At that moment I knew that the Lord was answering my question.  I had a feeling of such overwhelming power course through me.  There was no doubt as to my answer.  The Lord approved, and apparently wholeheartedly.

Even though I had my answer I was fine with our timetable.  Robin and I knew how we felt about each other.  There was no rush.  The Lord had other plans.  I should mention that this was a very spiritual time in my life.  I felt really close to the Lord and enjoyed the scriptures and prayer like I hadn't since my mission.  Robin had warned me well ahead of time that she had a week coming up that we wouldn't be able to spend any time together.  She had mid-terms and a couple huge papers she had to write and it all would happen the last week of March.  I was fine with that.

On Friday night I was kneeling in prayer at my bed and finished and was about to hop into bed when the spirit said in a loud voice, "You have spoken, now listen."  I knelt back down somewhat sheepishly.  Then the spirit said, "The next time you see Robin, you need to ask her to marry you."  I'm not one to argue with God, but I have to admit, I did.  I had a long list of reasons why I couldn't do what I had been commanded.  We were supposed to wait until the fall.  The coming week was her horrible week where I wouldn't even see her.  I didn't have a way to buy a ring.  The list was longer but you get the point.  The spirit would have none of it.  "Ask her anyway."  Was basically the answer to every protest.  Long after the spirit stopped speaking to me I knelt there in the dark trying to wrap my mind around what I had been told.  I played out every possible scenario in my head, including one where Robin slapped me and ran away crying.  In the end it came down to a question of faith.  Did I believe that God answers prayers or not?  Did I believe that the Holy Ghost could tell me the will of God or not?

I decided that no matter what happened, I would do as I was commanded.  The next day I sold my mountain bike to a friend and bought a diamond ring.  I called Robin's Mom and Dad and asked permission to propose.  Her parents surprised her by showing up in town and wanting to take everyone, including me out to dinner.  I knew then that this would be the night.  I had the ring in my pocket as we ate dinner at a very nice Japanese restaurant.  I had planned on taking her up the canyon to Sundance mountain where there was this little bridge.  I had a basket for apples and would ask her on the bridge like her favorite character Anne of Green Gables had been proposed to.  The problem was, the dinner ran late and it became dark.  I had no back up plan, but I was going to obey the command even if my proposal was the least romantic in history. 

I parked in her driveway and we talked for a while and I told her that I knew that we had decided to wait and that it was the worst possible time to ask her and that I didn't even expect an answer, but that I wanted her to be my wife.  I showed her the ring to show her that I was seriously asking her to marry me.  Tears filled her eyes, she didn't slap me or run away from the car screaming, so I took that as a good sign.  She did need more time and I was fine with that.  But at least I had done it.  I figured even if she said no that there had to be a reason the Lord had wanted me to do it then so I just had faith that it would work out all right. 

We parted ways and Robin tried to concentrate on her studies while she prayed and tried to decide what to say.  We saw each other a few times briefly that week when she needed a break, but not too much.  Finally when the week was over and Robin's studies were done it was time to make a decision.  I had left the ring at home every time I saw her but on Sunday we planned on going to a fireside with Elder Jensen of the seventy and for some reason I brought it with me.  It had been a long week for both of us and I have to admit the waiting was starting to get to me. 

Up until that point we had never heard a talk on marriage in all the firesides we had attended until then.  Robin was in the choir through her ward so we weren't sitting together and that was probably a good thing.  Elder Jensen talked about what we should be looking for in a spouse, what we should feel when picking our eternal companion.  I was comparing his list with Robin and I knew that she checked every box.  Little did I know that she was sitting across the Marriott Center doing the same thing. 

After the talk was over we met on the floor of the Marriott Center and talked a little with some friends who were with us but she had this smile on her face.  She looked so happy.  I didn't really think about it until later when it all made sense. 

I drove her home and again we talked for a while in her driveway.  We talked about the devotional and about the crazy week and then she told me that she had prayed and cried and pondered what she should do.  It had been a very miserable week for her trying to make this decision while also dealing with everything at school.  Finally she smiled and said "We are going to be so happy together." 

It took a minute to register.  I think my brain couldn't accept what it had just heard so I said, "Are you saying what I think you are saying?" 

She said, "Are you going to make me say it?"

"I think after a week I deserve to hear it," I replied.

So she said. "Yes, I'll marry you." 

I wish I could describe feelings that I felt 22 years ago.  I don't remember anything specific.  I just know it was the happiest day of my life.  We got out of the car and under a little apple tree in her yard I knelt down and put the ring on her hand. 

We were married three and a half months later and thus began the journey that has resulted in 9 beautiful children and an eternity to come.  After all these years that day is still one of the best of my life.  I have new days to put beside it now, our wedding and the births of each of our children, but it all started with that night under the apple tree. 

Our Courtship part 2

So I am home in Wisconsin, I'm in my parents basement and working as a cashier at Stein's Gardens and Gifts as well as driving pizzas for Pizza Hut and I am miserable.  I had many talks with my mother about Robin and what had happened.  She could see how down I was.  I am grateful I had a chance to drive pizzas.  It gave me a lot of time in my car at night in the darkness with time to think.  I thought about the good times I had with Robin, how I felt when I was around her.  I thought about what went wrong, what I did wrong.  I wish I could say that I came to some great epiphany that changed me forever but I didn't.  More than anything I just needed time away from Provo and all the memories.

One night this song came on the radio.  I had never heard it before but the words somehow captured exactly what I was feeling.  I literally had tears rolling down my cheeks as the song ended.  This is the song.


 The words of that song so perfectly described what was in my head.  Somehow hearing that song began the healing for me.  Not that it gave me any hope for Robin and I.  But when you are hurting you have this feeling of separation from the world.  You feel like nobody else understands what you are going through.  That loneliness is the hardest part.  When I heard that song I knew that I wasn't the only one going through what I was.  It gave me hope to know that someone else felt what I was feeling.  Although I was still missing Robin, that night in the car with that song began my recovery.

Robin and I talked over the summer periodically and it was like we were still dating in a way.  We could talk about anything and did.  We talked for hours at a time.  She even sent me a package with some talks and material about the last days that she thought I would find interesting.  I have to admit that I looked forward to our talks even though I knew that holding out hope for us was not good for me.

I did date for the first time that summer.  It was a girl at work and it didn't last long.  She lived on her own and wasn't a member of the church and I knew that if I wanted to remain worthy I would have to break it off so I did.  We continued to work together which made it a bit awkward, but mostly on her part.  It's kind of funny the things people do after a relationship is over.  Even a two week relationship.

So the summer ended and I found myself back in Provo.  I still didn't want to see Robin in the car with some guy, having a good time, but I was better able to deal with it after a summer away.  Robin was to arrive a few weeks after me so I watched and waited to see if she would contact me and how quickly.  A week after what I thought was her arrival date went by and then a few more days.  I was talking with my mom and told her that if that is all Robin thought of me then I was truly done with her.  I was a little upset that she hadn't at least called to tell me she was in town.  Just as I was about to write her off I got a call from Robin telling me that she just got in that day and would like to see me.

Of course that changed everything and all was forgiven.  The problem at that point was that nothing had really changed between us.  I was still running after her and she was still keeping me at a safe distance.  She didn't respect me because I was too eager, too suffocating.  I had lessons to learn and I couldn't do it while dating her.  I see that now, but at the time I was just happy she called.

We had a nice visit and we continued to keep in touch.  Not dating but going out once in a while to spend time together as friends.  Of course I was still holding a torch for her so many of these visits were just reminders of what was and weren't really helping me move on which is what I needed to do.

A few months later we went on a date that changed everything for me.  We went and played raquetball together one morning and were having our usual good time together.  I once again still hoped each time we saw each other that it would spark something and get us back together.  I certainly wasn't moving on.  I was dating some but I compared everyone to her and no one did.  We talked as we played about a Christmas work party in early December that I could invite a date to.  We agreed we would go together, once again kindling a hope in me that we still had a future.  Then she dropped the bomb.

She had to cut our time short because she had to go get ready for preference that night.  She had asked somebody else out to the very dance she had taken me to the year before.  She "preferred" somebody else.  I was devastated.  I didn't say much to Robin as we finished up and I took her home.  I knew as I dropped her off that I really and truly needed to get over her.  In fact, I needed to just get over and be done with relationships for a while. I was angry.  Mad at Robin, mad at me, mad at women in general.  I decided after that date that I needed to change how I looked at the whole thing.  No more puppy dog coming with my tail wagging for any interesting girl who would give me the time of day.  I decided I didn't care what others thought of me.  If I dated then fine, if I didn't, even better.  It wasn't an experiment, I had experienced a change of attitude.

I figured my new attitude would mean lots of nights alone in my apartment.  The thing was, the exact opposite occurred.  For the first time in my life there weren't enough days in the week for the dates I went on.  I had one stretch where I dated a different girl ten days in a row.  I wasn't looking for a relationship and they knew it, and that intrigued them I guess.  It still doesn't make sense to me, but the proof was in the results.  My new attitude had me so busy I couldn't think about Robin and feel sorry for myself any longer.  Besides, she "preferred" that other guy, so it was time to put those feelings away and move on, and I did.  Dating so often did something for me.  It gave me the confidence I lacked.  I realized that girls were interested in me, that there was nothing wrong with me.

During this time I stayed in touch with Robin but at a safe distance.  We didn't have any more of our little friend dates.  (I was too busy)  We just chatted on the phone once in a while.  I don't know if she sensed the change in me but I felt it. I was finally over her and ready to move on.  Not that my feelings had disappeared, I was just ready to move on and find someone as into me as I was into them and up until that point, Robin had never made me feel that way.

At the end of my dating spree I met a strawberry blonde girl named Heather from Canada.  We hit it off pretty quickly for some reason and starting seeing each other exclusively.  She had a lot of personality and for a time I liked that.  We went from dating to seeing each other exclusively to boyfriend and girlfriend.  We even discussed marriage even though that was pretty stupid.  We only knew each other one month.  A little problem arose though.  That Christmas work party was coming and I had asked Robin to go.  To make things worse Heather worked with me so it was technically her work party too.  She and I talked about what to do and I knew Heather wanted me to bow out with Robin and take her instead and really that is what a normal person would have done.  But I didn't want to cancel that date.  I was over Robin, I was in a good place personally and even had a new girlfriend, yet I didn't want to break that date with Robin.

Heather agreed that I should honor that invitation and that we would just spend time together after so I picked up Robin and headed to the party.  When we sat down Heather and a friend of hers decided to come sit with us at our table just to really make it awkward.  A good friend from my mission Kevin Marquis and his wife were also there so they were at the table too.  It was very awkward.  I couldn't really have a conversation with Robin because Heather was right there.  I felt bad, because everyone at the table knew what was going on except Robin.  I hadn't brought her to be mean to her or rub my new relationship in her face.  We were there only an hour or so when I realized what a mistake I'd made and that to be fair to Robin I needed to take her home.  At the first opportunity I suggested we leave, that I wasn't feeling well.

She seemed quite surprised that I was taking her home early.  On the way home she even suggested that we go do something else.  I declined and took her home.  It was quite a change for us.  Normally I was always trying to extend our time together.  I think she realized that finally I was over her.  I'll let her tell her side in her own words.

After I dropped her off I went back to the party and spent another few hours with Heather.  I couldn't help but compare Robin and Heather. I compared how I felt when I was around them.  What we talked about.  It wasn't a good comparison for Heather.  It was at that moment where things took a downward turn in our relationship.  We kept dating for another month but that spark that had brought us together so quickly started to fade.  I didn't expect to reunite with Robin.  But after that night I knew I wanted somebody like her.

Our Courtship part 1

I decided to break this into two parts because I expect it to be quite lengthy. 

I have already detailed how Robin and I met in another post so I thought I would pick up from there and share some memories of what happened after. 

Our first date was to a BYU football game and the best I can say for it was I am lucky we had a second date.  During the game we watched and cheered and I yelled at the referees which probably should have scared her off, (and nearly did.)  As we were leaving she was thinking that it was probably over and I was thinking that I would like to take her out on a real date so I asked her out. 

On my end I was intrigued by our conversations.  I found that I could talk to her about any subject and she had something to add.  We never had those uncomfortable moments of silence that I had with some girls.  She laughed at my jokes, she wasn't afraid of spiritual topics.  I could tell that the gospel meant a lot to her.  The only problem as I saw it was she was so young.  She had just arrived in Provo straight out of high school.  She certainly wasn't ready for a serious relationship.  I was several months off my mission and to put it frankly, I was ready.  She knew that too and that sometimes caused problems.  The first time we dated I felt like Robin made sure to keep me at arms length.  We had fun, we certainly got closer, but I always felt like she was a little caged rabbit, just waiting for me to open the door so she could escape. 

Our next date after the football game we went on campus to see a concert.  This was a much better setting to talk and get to know each other better and remind ourselves of the night we met.  As we walked out of the concert hall I grabbed her hand, which was the first physical contact between us.  It seemed like a natural fit to me, I would imagine it scared her half to death. 

We dated quite regularly after that but just held hands here and there and certainly had no commitment at that point.  It was at the end of the 6th date that we finally kissed.  We were sitting on her couch talking and I realized that a kiss was in the air, so I took off my glasses and leaned in.  She told me later it was a little too long for her but to me it was very nice. 

We dated so much that it all ran together but a few dates I remember. 
- I took her to see Beauty and the Beast.  We both loved it and for the first time I could tell that she was developing feelings for me.  She didn't even seem to be scared.  It was probably our first magical night together.  I think this is the date we had before our first kiss.  I'm sure Robin remembers.
- Preference.  Robin asked me to preference and we went with Shawna and Eric who were also dating at that time.  We felt like a couple that night for the first time. 
- The Laser show  I took her to see the Pink Floyd laser show in Salt Lake City.  This was really just a cool show more than anything I remember specifically about us that night. 
- The Christmas Tree exhibit.  We went up to Salt Lake City and saw an exhibit of Christmas trees from around the world.  This was either our first date or one of our first dates and Robin was scared to go all the way to Salt Lake City alone with me.  (I didn't mind)  So we doubled with Steve and Cindy Bartell and had fun.  I think this date she felt a lot more comfortable with me after.
- I don't remember a specific date when we did this but on many of our dates we would turn off the radio and sing EFY and other church songs together.  From my end it felt magical and right.  She told me later that those dates should have scared her the most because it felt so comfortable that it was like we were family but for some reason that didn't scare her. 

I know if I give it some thought I could remember more of our dates from the first time but I think that is a good list.  If Robin writes her side of this story maybe she will think of more.  We grew quite close the first time we dated.  A lot closer than Robin ever planned and eventually, more than she was comfortable with.  I wasn't really shocked when we drove to the Provo temple to talk and she broke up with me.  We had taken the relationship as far as it could go at that time.  Probably too far.  It didn't make the heartache any less for me, but I knew it was coming so at least that helped a little.  I was very much in love but didn't think she felt  the same way for me.  She was so young, it was too much to ask.  But that didn't make it hurt any less.

I dropped her off and parked back in my apartment lot and just sat there with tears streaming down my cheeks.  I looked over at where she had been sitting and noticed loose strands of her blonde hair on my car seat.  I began picking them off one by one, knowing how much heartache seeing them would bring me in the days to come.  I knew she wouldn't be leaving any more again. 

The day was March 28th.  I had planned to stay and work in Provo that summer but as I drove around town the next few days I kept seeing reminders of Robin.  Every restaurant and park seemed to have a memory.  I was scared to death I would see her in some other guy's car, laughing and having a good time.  I'm so glad I didn't, it would have destroyed me.  I decided after a few days that I was going home to Wisconsin.  I needed time to heal, to get over her away from all the memories.

I had apparently left some things at Robin's apartment so a few days before I left she asked me to come get them.  When I arrived I found that what I left wasn't really all that important.  She had used it as an excuse to see me again.  She wanted to get my contact information to stay in touch while she went home over the summer.  I was fine with that but I didn't expect anything.  I felt like she wanted to get rid of me and she had so I needed to get over her.  I gave her a hug and told her I had changed my plans and would be going home over the summer.  I didn't realize then that that news really affected her.  She realized just how much our break-up had affected me.  We exchanged phone numbers and addresses and as far as I was concerned as I drove away, that was the end of our relationship. 

When we first met

This story oddly enough begins on my mission.  A little past the half way point of my mission I was called as a District Leader in Afton Wyoming in Star Valley.  That area was easily the most beautiful area of my mission.  I really loved the aspens on the hills which were turning bright shades of orange and red when I arrived.  My companion was Elder Ethan Weyand, a nice guy who had a dry wit and seemed to find humor in nearly everything we did.   We hit it off pretty quickly and really enjoyed our time together, but after only one month we were both transferred.  We left friends, but probably not enough that we would keep up with that friendship after our missions.

Luckily a few short months later we were put together again in Rawlins, Wyoming.  We had a blast together and our friendship was cemented.  We both came home the same day and both ended up in Provo, Utah a few months later.  In October he called me up and asked me if I would like to come play raquetball and afterwards visit his girlfriend's apartment to watch the Simpsons.  At first I balked, I didn't really feel like playing that night, but he reminded me that there would be other girls at the apartment and that piqued my interest.  (And not because I was a player.  That statement is for the older girls.)

After a few hours of playing we showered and headed over to an apartment complex just south of the BYU campus.  I remember very little about Ethan's girlfriend or the apartment.  But I do remember my thoughts as I saw the cute blonde girl on the couch doing her homework.  Her hair was curly and fell loosely around her shoulders.  She looked up when we came in and I was met with the bluest eyes I'd ever seen. 

I don't remember introducing myself but I must have.  I don't remember how we started talking but we did.  I do remember Ethan and his girlfriend Mary looking like they wanted to be alone so we decided to go talk in the kitchen.  The girl's name was Robin and we found we could talk about anything and did so for hours.  In fact it was around 2 in the morning when we finally decided we should get going.  We had talked about the gospel and the last days and so many other things that evening.  I knew I wanted to see Robin again but I didn't want to seem too eager so like a fool I decided to play it cool and not make a move.  Luckily she was the smarter one, she asked me out to a football game that Saturday.  Thank goodness she did because Ethan and Mary broke up later that week.  How would I have found an excuse to ask her out? 

I didn't know it that night but my life had just changed forever.  I had just found the love of my life.  I am grateful for that day every day of my life. 

And here, we, go!

This is the inaugural post of the Fluegel Family Blog.

As we try to follow the counsel of the prophet to keep the Sabbath day holy. I have given thought to the types of activities on this day that would appropriately show Heavenly Father the sign of our devotion to him, I thought of writing in a blog all the family memories and stories we could remember.  Someday I will no longer be here, and I want my children to hear my own voice through these words.

I invite my wife, my children and others in our family to contribute to our history, our stories, our memories.  I don't expect this to be a chronological setting.  It doesn't matter to me what order the stories are in, only that they are told.  Photos and videos are also welcome although I do believe there is a limit on storage so we should keep these to a minimum.

So here we go.