Creatures of Happiness

I was asked by one of my street team members to write a guest post for her blog on whether we deserve happiness. Here is what I wrote: We are Creatures of Happiness

As a young man growing upon a farm in midwestern Illinois I have so many memories I look back to with fondness. I remember the humid summers, stacking bales in the loft of our barn in the heat as a boy, trying to keep up with the men as they grabbed two bales at once and carried them to the back of the loft to stack them in the ever-rising pile of hay. I could only handle one bale at a time, but I felt like a man doing man’s work, sweating, getting dirty, working up a veracious appetite that would only be satisfied by the spread produced at grandma’s table at lunch and dinner.

I remember too the fall, harvest time when the golden corn swayed in the breeze as the combine cut row after row down, reaping the golden treasure for transport to our grain bins. When I was old enough, I was allowed to drive the tractor that collected the golden corn and transport it in wagons back from the field. Again at 14 I felt like an adult, able to contribute to the welfare of the family as well as any of the other adults in the family. I was needed, even relied on, and that made me happy.

I remember the spring as well, a time of rebirth when nature shrugs off the sheet of ice and cold and begins to blossom again. Spring is a time of hope and renewal, but not in my family. As we hook up the disc and plow the dark, rich soil on our family farm, spring is a reminder of loss. It was in the spring that it happened. I wasn’t alive at the time, but I too felt the effects, everyone who came after did. Her name was Elane, and she was the joy of the family. While her grandpa plowed the field she tried to surprise him by jumping up on the back of the tractor, but she slipped, the discs ran over her young body, crushing her. He heard her cry, but too late. He carried her from the field in his arms, her breathing shallow, her eyes wouldn’t open. They put her in the arms of her mother and sped into town, but less than a mile from the very field where the accident occurred, she breathed her last. Little did Elane know, but when she left that spring day, something more than a little girl died. Happiness itself was taken from them. She left behind a mother and father who forever after struggled to say a nice word to each other. She left behind a brother, (my father) who blamed himself for not watching her more closely, and turned to alcohol and a gruff exterior, never letting anyone in to see the pain he masked. She left behind a sister who could not allow anyone, including two husbands to get too close to her for fear of feeling again the anguish of true loss.

As I watched this family growing up I somehow knew that they were broken. I didn’t know why fully until many years later, but I knew. My father and my mother split up when I was young, but I spent summers on the farm and saw firsthand people I loved going through the motions of life with no hint of happiness. Yet I knew and believe now more than ever that we are creatures of happiness. Let me be clear, not passions, but happiness. Passion is a necessary momentary splash of color in the much larger canvas of life. Happiness is the full palette that coordinates the blues and blacks with the lighter yellows and purples to give us the masterpiece that we all are trying to create, a masterpiece that will last forever. Do we then, deserve happiness?

A father stood in a field with his son, flying a kite aloft. The son cried out to his father, “Let out more string Dad, it wants to go higher!” His father let out more string and the kite took the wind, higher into the sky. After a time the son cried out again, “Let out more string Dad, it wants to go even higher!” So the dad let out the rest of the string, causing the kite to soar into the sky, now no more than a tiny dot high up in the sky. Shortly after, the son yelled out one last time, let it out more Dad!” But the Father answered, “Son, there is no more string to let out.”

“Then let it go, Dad,” the son answered. “The string is holding it back!”

The Dad smiled, knowing what would happen, but seeing an opportunity. He let go of the string, the kite took off for a short time but predictably began to plummet to the earth. As it crashed to the ground the boy turned to his father and said, “I don’t understand.”

His father knelt down and tussled his son’s hair a little as the wind whipped across the field. “You see son, the string wasn’t holding the kite down, it was the resistance of the string the held the kite aloft.”

So what does this have to do with happiness? I believe there are rules, eternal rules that lead us to happiness. Not to pleasure, but to true happiness. These rules do not hold us back, they do not keep us from soaring higher, instead they provide the very grounding that we need in order to attain true happiness in this life and give us perspective to allow us to survive the vicissitudes of this life and the challenges it brings. Those rules are closely tied to my belief in God. It is that belief that gives me perspective when there is loss and hardship and despair. It is that perspective that allows me to smile again, to laugh again, to hope again, to be happy amid the tumult.

As I visit the graves of my grandma and grandpa and the little marker in between them of my aunt Elane, I think of that broken family and wish they had this perspective. I wish I could go back and teach them that they weren’t to blame for that spring day. I wish I could tell them that smiling again isn’t tarnishing her memory, but honoring it.

Good-Byes

This week has been another in a series of good-byes for me personally and as I sat thinking about that on my drive home from Logan Saturday night, it hit me just how foreign that word will be to our celestial existence. For some context let me back-up.

Early Friday morning I said good-bye to Becca as she headed off on her summer mission to Nauvoo to perform in the Nauvoo brass band. What an opportunity for her! I am truly excited she gets this chance to spend an entire summer in that wonderful place walking where the prophet Joseph walked, and helping to share the gospel through music. I truly am grateful that she is able to be there at this time, however as with each of my children who has left my home, it is so tough saying good-bye. She will be back for a very short week in August, and I know for her the time will fly by all too soon, but for me the days will drag. But even when she returns it will only be to prepare for her trip to college this fall at Snow. Again I am excited for her and Laura to begin this new chapter in their lives. I have seen Elizabeth, Ashley and Jessica grow so much as they have left home and stepped out on their own. They were each ready to take that next step, which is all a parent can ask for, yet I so love what we have in this home, the memories the we have made together, the hard times we have endured, the good times, the laughs, the tears. Each of these memories are the fabric of my life. Each of these moments represent the true happiness I have found in mortality. But one by one my children are growing, and leaving. Elizabeth will be in Oregon with her husband as they grow their family there. Ashley is in grad school this fall in Logan, Jessica on her mission in Missouri, Becca at Snow College and Laura in Orem at UVU. I am grateful to be so much closer to get to see them more often, however they will never be under my roof in the same way again. I know this is the plan. I know this is what the Lord intended. This is what Robin and I intended. I would not want them to stay home and be stifled. I want to see each of them grow. But, that doesn't lessen the pain of losing that everyday association. And as I drove that car home in the dark, thinking about all the good-byes I had just said that weekend, I thought about the celestial kingdom and my family gathered around me for eternity with no more good-byes. Never to be parted again. What a blessing that will be! A blessing I will gladly give all that I have, want, desire, to obtain. Hell would be knowing that I could have had that reunion, or even knowing that it was taking place, but knowing that I had made the choice to not be there. There is no need for physical torture or punishment or a literal lake of fire and brimstone, nothing could approach the anguish of separation from family for eternity knowing the simplicity of the way back. I am so grateful for the knowledge of the gospel in my life. I am so grateful for the sealing ordinance. I am so grateful for the promise of no more good-byes, only joyful hello's as we gather in the presence of the father and his son and they receive us with open arms into their presence never to leave again. That is heaven. My family gives me fleeting glimpses of that joy that we will all have someday without measure.

I tried to bear my testimony and broke down several times as I thought about my family members who are now making the choice to miss that family reunion in eternity. I still hold out hope for them. I always will. I don't care what path they take to get there. I just want them there. No one lost. Not one of us on the outside looking in. I know the Lord is a merciful judge and will take into account all that they have been through. But I hope and pray that they will choose to join us in God's presence as a family forever. I don't want to say an eternal good-bye.

Here is Becca at the airport before leaving and our sweet Ashley on her graduation day at USU. We are so proud of her and the example she has set for her younger sisters and brother.

Thoughts from Adam Ondi Ahman

This past week I had the great pleasure to travel across the country with Ashley, Jessica, Rebecca and Laura. It was a lot of fun and a very special time for me. As a father it is pretty rare to get the chance to drive with your kids across the country when they are older. I love each of their amazing personalities and their sense of self. Each of my children are such amazing people already as they grow to take the reins from my generation. Life cycles on and it is sometimes hard not to feel swept away with it. This week was an opportunity to slow it down and just enjoy and I did.

Part of the trip was a route through Missouri to places in church history I had never visited. We started in Independence, Missouri at the site of the new Jerusalem temple. The church has a visitor's center there which we really enjoyed. I had thought that the temple site itself was underneath the Community of Christ temple but it isn't. There isn't anything built on it at the moment. We walked the grounds of the temple, seeing its dimensions and I have to say it seems smaller than I imagined. I had pictured this massive building but although it is bigger than the Salt Lake Temple, it isn't that much bigger. The temple lot is owned by the Church of Christ Temple Lot folks. They were shut down when we arrived so we were a little bummed but we did at least get to see the lot.

After Independence we headed up to Liberty and just made it to see the Liberty Jail and take that tour. It is harrowing to see the small building where Joseph was imprisoned for all those months in the dead of winter. The room itself was so small that Joseph could not stand upright. There was no protection from the outside elements in what was one of the coldest winters on record up to that point. I love the prophet Joseph and felt an even greater closeness to him after witnessing the harrowing circumstances he survived in that little dungeon.

The highlight of the trip though for me was Adam Ondi Ahman. This is a simple valley with a few hills overlooking that had no tours or anything special to see but the spirit that resides there is so special. The Earth does not forget when the Savior has appeared in a place. I firmly believe that. To stand in a spot I knew had held the great meeting of Adam and all of his righteous posterity. A place where Adam had blessed his posterity and prophesied what would befall them down to our day. To know that the Savior had appeared there to comfort him. You literally can feel it. I had goosebumps as the missionaries told me of people who are feeling inspired to move close to the valley and how doors are opening to allow it. The church just built a large stake building to accommodate the increasing numbers. It is a very special place. There it is that the Lord will appear to his righteous saints and will prepare them for his second coming. He will call up the 144,000 and transfigure them, and send them out into the world to gather the remnants of his elect before the day of burning. I looked across that valley and pictured the people filling it. The sounds, the sights as they all looked up to Tower and Spring Hills to the place where the Savior and Adam will speak and all the holy prophets living and dead who will be there to make their report of an accounting of their keys. I got chills as I saw all of this in my mind and the spirit whispered that it was true.

As we pulled away I just thought in my mind that I wanted to do whatever is necessary to be there that day. I would regret for eternity being unworthy to be there and participate in that great gathering. No sacrifice is too great, I want to be surrounded by my family at that meeting, enjoying a brief moment of the fullness of joy that is promised the righteous. I can't wait for this and I am so grateful to be able to visit and know.

Follow Up

Just days after I wrote the post below the world was hit with yet another terror attack. 84 people were killed in Nice, France by a terrorist in a truck. He plowed 3 miles through a crowd, killing 10 children and 74 others in the process. The scenes of bodies lying in the street under blankets was one I don't know if I'll be able to get out of my head. We are so desensitized to this now though. It won't take more than a few days for the world to move on. Nothing will change. Then another attack will occur and the world will express outrage until they forget again. Of course we'll still have politicians trying to take advantage of the horror to push their agendas. But other than that the world will get bored and move on. There is no regard for human life. There is no consolation for the families of the victims. At best somebody will set up a memorial fund and put a few dollars in to make themselves feel better. Although I don't mean to disparage those who donate to or set up these funds, my point is that nothing changes. We as a society grow callouses so these terror acts don't blister our daily lives when they happen. I am as guilty of this as anybody. Unless we are directly affected it's just hard to have this hit home. Unfortunately I believe these acts are simply part of the scenery until the Lord comes again in all his glory. I only expect them to increase in frequency. The rising generation is being taught that human life is not valued. Video games where mostly boys spend literally hours a day killing thousands of digital people, coupled with the utter rejection of God and his commandments, adding in the pornography epidemic and the utter lack of our media and leaders to accept their warped roles all lead to the horror we are now seeing played out on our screens almost nightly. As I mentioned in the post below, we simply ask where and how many and who did it before shaking our heads and maybe saying a small prayer for the victims and their families. The problem is, I don't know what else we can do. How can I affect the larger world around me from my little duplex in St. George? If I live a better life how will that help? I'm not sure we as Latter-Day Saints can change the course the world is on. I believe the bearings are set. The world has chosen its heading and with Lucifer at the helm, the voyage to destruction is sure. I guess the best we can do is to try to get as many people in life vests as possible.

Decent Into Darkness

I wrote this post on Facebook and thought I would also share it here. It has some of the same themes as the last post I wrote but for the most part is new.

By my count there have been 62 mass shootings with 106 dead and 274 injured in just the past 30 days and that is just in the U.S.. There is something broken in our country, in our world and it isn't guns. Never in history has a gun walked itself into a restaurant and opened fire without a person behind it. People have lost their respect for life and humanity. We as a nation are becoming desensitized to it. It's like some morbid sports score now.

"Where was it?" we ask.

"How many dead and wounded?" we ask.

"That is so tragic," we exclaim, unsure of what we can do to change anything in our ever increasingly wicked world.

The feeling of hopelessness and loss of control of our lives pervades. I find myself scoping public places, watching for crazies. I have played out in my head many times what I would do in such a situation. Unfortunately the chances are ever increasing that I will find myself in such a place. Our country is no longer safe. And what does our government do to prevent this growing trend? Fight the other party. Vote themselves raises and exemptions from the very laws they pass. Is there really a choice this election? The only choice we have is more of the same.

Yet government is not the answer. The reason people are increasingly violent is because we as a nation have turned from God's laws. The natural consequence of this is what we see today. Men have become lovers of themselves, without natural affections, striving to do evil. The cure for what ails our country is a return to values that were prevalent just a few short decades ago when we celebrated our victory in a world war and reaped the benefits of an entire generation that grew up not just hearing, but living the words sacrifice, duty and honor. That is what we have lost, and I fear we will never get it back again.

Wedding

My wedding was awesome! Thanks to all of you for helping out and being part of it! Here is a picture of our family (which Dad needed to change the cover of the blog). You all look so great! More pictures are coming, we are waiting on Aunt Trisha to send me hers and then I will be posting the albums and such.
Love, Elizabeth Hutchings :)

Lessons from Ammonihah

I have continued to watch with alarm the degradation of our society and specifically our country over the last few decades of my life. I suppose every generation has felt thus, believing that theirs was the better and the newer was worse. In some cases this was certainly not the case. I believe the greatest generation received its name rightfully. The 1920's and 30's were defined by the depression and the lead up to war. But the 20's especially were known for an introduction of debauchery and celebrating criminals that was never seen in American history. At the outset of the war America was on a downturn, thanks in part to the ultra liberal policies of Woodrow Wilson and Franklin D. Roosevelt who never saw a government program they didn't like. But on December 7th, 1941 that all changed. America was attacked in a brutal and cowardly manner. The righteous anger of a nation sanctified them. No calling was turned down, no sacrifice was too great. Some young men, denied entry into the military, killed themselves to hide their shame. Women went to work in factories, making tanks and jeeps and artillery to win the war. Many more sewed parachutes together, agreed to rations of sugar, meat and other foodstuffs, all for the cause. When the war was won the men came home, they married their sweethearts and a baby boom occurred. America was on the up and up. Confidence was high, people were happy. People valued the traditions of their fathers, people embraced faith. Why were things so much better? Because an entire generation had sacrificed, many of them their very lives, for freedom and their country. Flying the flag was not controversial, it was an honor, it was a reminder of those who had given everything so we could enjoy everything.

What then has happened to us now? How do we find ourselves in the position we are? I look no further than the examples in the Book of Mormon. In the land of Zarahemla Alma the younger saw his people beginning to grow in pride and envy. He saw that their years of plenty had corrupted what their years of war had birthed, sanctification. So he began a mission to his own people, checking their growing wickedness with the good word of God. This worked in Zarahemla and in Gideon and Shimlon, but not in Ammonihah. In that most wicked of cities I believe we find our parallel for today. Ammonihah sat amongst the righteous nation of Nephites and yet was one of the most wicked cities on earth. Today I believe that dynamic is changing. Today we have cities and on a smaller scale, homes where righteousness rules while all around them wickedness rages. So what was different about Ammonihah? I believe it was their rulers. It says that they were after the order of Nehor. Remember that Nehor's primary teachings were that although there is a God, you can act however you want and God will justify it as long as you acknowledge him with your mouth. This was never more evident than when Zeezrom is questioning Amulek and asks him point blank, "Will Christ save us in our sins?" Amulek of course answered that he would not, which Zeezrom then tried to use against him. Ammonihah was ruled by corrupt judges and lawyers who went about telling the people that whatever they did was okay so long as they, the judges and lawyers, got paid. This doctrine is no more than an offshoot of Satan's original plan, which basically took all agency, or consequence of agency from man. Satan is the author of both.

Today we see the corruption brought about because of our lawyers and judges. In 1963 JFK was assassinated by what I believe was a conspiracy to take over rule of our country. Lyndon B Johnson took over and our country has never been the same. The real decadence of the 60's happened after LBJ took over. The great society programs of 1965 were his baby, and began the true downfall of our nation, turning us from free market capitalism and personal responsibility to the welfare state. Teaching Americans that they had no need to be self sufficient, that the government would be their savior. Ronald Reagan tried to stem the tide and reverse the trend but by then all he could do was merely stick his finger in the dam while hole after hole appeared in too many places to plug. Since Reagan this country has followed the example of Ammonihah, following 1 corrupt leader after another, jettisoning the values that made us what we are today in favor of a more progressive way of thinking. Things that would have horrified our grandparents are now accepted as the American way. We once lead the world in the fight against fascism and communism, today we lead the world in decadence, exploitation and simply put, evil. Yet the lonely voices who stand to fight against the machine are thrown into the metaphorical fire and burned in public opinion the same as the believers in Ammonihah. Eventually, with the believers murdered or cast out, the servants of the Lord departed. The city was left unto itself, and a little more than a year later, was wiped completely out of existence, destroyed by other non-believers. The wicked, at war with the wicked. This lesson is both past and future. Today we stand, watching the few believers as they are cast into the fires of public opinion, as they are cast from their homes, their families, from jobs and livelihood. All for their belief in the traditions of their fathers, the traditions of their nation, all because they would not embrace the new belief, the new religion, the new God. When the fires dim and the servants of the Lord are called home, the citizens of this world who embraced the order of Nehor will be left unto themselves, and they will suffer the same fate as Ammonihah.